The end
I have three boys (that I love dearly) and that’s all I will ever have. Well, biological kids anyway (although I highly doubt if we will ever adopt) I’ll never see those two lines appear on a pregnancy test again. I’ll never feel a baby moving inside me. I’ll never hear those first tiny little cries as the baby is just born. I’ll never get to breastfeed a newborn again. Never. It’s the end.
Tommie (in case he would not want the world to know lol) The father of my children had a vasectomy today. While it is logically and rationally the right thing to do, it’s still so final. We weren’t planning on more. Trust me – three kids are enough for our family. It’s just so final.
Tommie the father is doing well. I laughed a lot after the operation at all the funny things he had to say when he was still a bit out of it. However as soon as he could, he wanted me to take the drip out and get dressed. He drove home (we only live about three blocks from the hospital). I drove behind him and made sure he made it home safely. He is planning on going to work this morning (might even be there already). So he is just fine.
It’s probably just me feeling a tad sad. Real sad actually. Totally irrational but still, I’m a woman – allow me to be emotional about this.
November 2, 2006 at 10:24 am
Probably not getting proper sleep (what you mentioned in previous post) made this decision for him easier
)) He knew he would not handle another baby…
Ok, serious now: I know it was a right thing to do. I know next pregnancy, after 3 c-sections, could be danger for you. I know to be on contraception for next 20-30 years wouldn’t be nice at all, and not healthy too. So, I am sure he did well. In my country vasectomy is not allowed, and I always wondered why…
Your post is kind of answer for it. It is too final… and even if it is the best choice, still makes people sad and sorry.
Even if wives more than men who do it:)
I hope it will pass soon… all these feelings…
November 2, 2006 at 11:14 am
You never said anything. Was this planned, (of course it was) I suppose you don’t just wake up and say, I’m going to have the snip.
Oh Mel. I feel for you, really I do. I can send my girls to you for holidays if you really want, then you can also gave girls for a bit. (I don’t mind)
A lady in my dept brought her 2 WEEK old son into the office today. Broody. So small, so cute.
I’m here if you need to chat. Love you lots. [HUGS]
November 2, 2006 at 1:20 pm
Cheryl, it was planned from long long time I know… from Zander’s birth… But did you know, Mel, he is going there yesterday??? Looked like he planned golf, not vasectomy, for the afternoon? Did he make it kind of ’surprise’ for you???
November 2, 2006 at 2:25 pm
What about that little girl you always wanted??? Sorry pal, I was only teasing! You are one lucky girl … I know ALOT of “babies” (my DH included) who wouldn’t do it, even they got paid to do it. You hubby is very very brave!!!
Hugs and kisses for you … the “hurt” will soon pass.
November 2, 2006 at 7:14 pm
Mel, I’m sorry. Even if you weren’t planning for more, I can understand why it’s still hard.
Tommie is a brave man. I’ve heard it’s rough. At least you won’t have to worry about birth control!
November 2, 2006 at 7:36 pm
I do feel like stabbing you for not saying ANYTHING.
November 2, 2006 at 9:26 pm
I’m liking your husband already.
Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com/
November 3, 2006 at 12:11 am
my thoughts and prayers are with u all
November 3, 2006 at 2:04 am
I know that sadness all too well. My dh had a vasectomy when our 5th was 2 months old. I never wanted him to do it, but he insisted. I was sad for at least 6 years. I am not sure I have ever gotten over it. At least you seem to know it was right for you guys. If anyone were to ask my advice, I’d say NEVER have it done when you have a baby under 2 years of age. Just my 2 cents.
November 3, 2006 at 3:28 am
(((HUGS))) Even if you know it’s the right decision for your family, it just makes the decision that much more final. It means that a certain stage in you life is past and you need to adjust to it.
November 3, 2006 at 4:18 am
You have every right to be sad. It’s the end of a time for you.
But in a way, the beginning of a new mom. You are embracing your future as a mom of boys, future teenagers, a grandmother one day. A long time from now
November 3, 2006 at 4:24 am
That is kind of a sad realisation, isn’t it. Keep loving those sweety-pies of yours..
November 3, 2006 at 8:20 am
Over in our country, most woman have it done and not men (it’s an ego thing). I had my laporotomy in May this year and I know how sad it feels to be certain that this is a FULL STOP as far as babies are concerned. Though I am sure of our decision, the sadness is still there. *Hugs* to you for posting this as I feel that I have someone to relate to.
November 3, 2006 at 9:12 am
I can relate to that, I felt the same way when my dh got the same thing done when I was pregnant with our youngest. I’d love to have more babies though *sigh*
November 3, 2006 at 9:31 am
Your hubby is very brave, Melany.
And I’m sorry about the sadness. Hope it’ll pass soon.
Love and hugs,
Adwina
And thanks a lot for sharing the bilingualism over my blog.
November 3, 2006 at 10:44 am
totally ok to feel sad. that is a big thing in life. hope you are feeling happier soon.
and make sure you follow the “directions” about when it is “safe.” my coworker’s wife got pregnant with their SIXTH child cause they didn’t wait for the green light from the doctor.
November 3, 2006 at 5:28 pm
I can sense your sadness in this post, although I know you are grateful for having three beautiful boys. I know I’ll be just as sad when our family-making days are over. I hope Tommie heals quickly and comfortably. (((hugs)))
November 3, 2006 at 7:50 pm
you are so allowed to be sad mel- its perfectly normal and i think it shows how much of a supermom you are!!
November 4, 2006 at 2:57 pm
I was thinking about this very thing the other day. Never again will I see the pregnant symbol, never again will I feel life inside me, never again will I hear life in me. very sad.
While hard to do, we have to be greatful for what we do have. Healthy children.
November 4, 2006 at 6:27 pm
Lots of hugs Melany. With #4 arriving soon, we too have decided for DH to go the snip-snip route. Like you I am a bit ambivilant. 4 kids really is the most financially responsible for us – and we aren’t getting any younger. However, I too will miss the tenderness of being pregnant and having a life growing within.