Blame

There’s so many things he should have done to protect my dog.  I have spoken to him so many times about being careful.  Rather putting the dogs in the bakkie when he drives in.  Letting the kids hold on to them. Just to be aware that they could run under the wheels of his car.

He thought I was being a pain and a nagging wife.

He was wrong.

I just want him to apologize.  Yet I also don’t want to lay the blame on him.  Not because I think he is not to blame but what is the use?  It won’t bring Benji back.  It will just cause hurt and anger and emotions that will lead to nothing.

Quintus found out today and thought his dad was joking.  It took him a while to realize that it really did happen, that Benji really is dead.  Like me, he wants to cry alone.  I went to him and gave a big hug, comforted him but let him go when he moved away.  Later on I saw him sit by Benji’s grave. 

I feel better now that he knows.  With that anxiety of how he will react now gone, it feels like I can begin to accept this.

Explore posts in the same categories: Death, Pets, Quintus, Tommie