What if
What if I didn’t have kids.
What would my life be like now? Now my kids are my life. They are what my day revolves around. I will rearrange appointments, cancel clients move mountains for my boys.
Before the boys I was very different. I was highly motivated. I worked hard. I had huge ambition and was well on my way to achieve that and more. I was the youngest Accountant in my company. This before I had finished my degree. I woke up at 5 am to study. Studied after work till 10 pm. I didn’t often join Tommie when he went out drinking with friends.
I was earning a really good salary. No shortage of money. ALL of that changed the moment I held Quintus in my arms. When he was just an hour old and one of our managers wouldn’t stop phoning me. Not to congratulate me but to ask for help. That was it. That’s when my life changed.
But what if it didn’t. I know that Tommie sometimes (especially when we having financial problems) think I didn’t make the right choice. He will mentioned that I would have been earning so much now, if I didn’t resign.
I was working late last night and I realized that if I had no children, that would be me. I would be working hard. I’d be the one who’s office light was still on while everyone else went out with friends. My work would be my life. Like my kids are now.
I prefer the way it is now. I’d much rather have my boys wake me at 5 am….keep me awake until way after 10 pm. I’d rather spend those hours with them and earn their love, instead of those hours at work and earn money.
November 21, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Ha! I knew it! You are me. (smile).
Here’s the weird thing. When the kids get older, you shift gears to the next thing. High energy, motivated people simply pour their energy into their greatest priority. So, enjoy where you are at now. In five years, it will be different. And in five years more, different again.
The best part is, you can usually regain the ground you lose salary-wise because you aren’t standing still, then going back to start over. Esp, since you are building your own business in a flexible way.
No regrets. You totally made the best decision. Even career wise.
November 22, 2008 at 7:22 am
You are still passionate. Just not about your job, but about your precious kids, like it should be.
November 22, 2008 at 8:05 am
OMG. Why do the men always suddenly look to the women when they have their ‘coulda woulda shoulda’ moments. My husband has the nerve to tell me that if we had two ‘REAL’ incomes that we wouldn’t be so short all the time. Meaning that the little bit I earn on the side from photography is basically worthless (geez thanks for making the effort and being a full time mom). Of course I’m not so rude as to remind him, if he hadn’t let his mom and sister manipulate him into blowing R500 000 of our bond equity on their stupid business venture, we wouldn’t be short of money either. That and he’d played less golf. But I don’t. Because I’m nice. I agree on the whole kid thing though, sure we’d have bigger houses better cars etc, but how ‘great’ would our lives be? Not.
November 22, 2008 at 12:32 pm
I think women change after becoming moms. We set our priorities, children first (sometimes husbands later..). I think you have made the right decision Mel. You are a good mom yet I know you also work hard.
Your boys are precious. Work will always be there. Enjoy your precious moments with them.
November 23, 2008 at 7:44 am
No one ever laid on their death bed saying, “Gee, I wish I’d spent more time at work.” I was loving my job and ministry over-commitments until Maddie was actually born. Then it seemed like everything else disappeared and I didn’t understand how that happened. It just did. Nothing else holds the importance or urgency that my family does to me. Its my profession so its good to do it well.
November 23, 2008 at 8:31 pm
You are rich. I am your best friend. What more can you possibly need?
Soentjies skattie.