Where do YOU live?

Yesterday as every single day in the life that is mine was hectic.  I asked Tommie if he could do me the huge favour pick up Quintus after his extra lessons at school.

Sorry.  No can do.  Why?  He has to go play golf!  Oh the tough life of the husband of mine.

A while later I get a call…. “BTW what extra classes did Quintus go to?”

You got to be kidding me right!?  This is his second year that he has extra classes on Mondays and Wednesdays! 

Separate worlds people.  We sometimes live in separate worlds.

 

Blame

There’s so many things he should have done to protect my dog.  I have spoken to him so many times about being careful.  Rather putting the dogs in the bakkie when he drives in.  Letting the kids hold on to them. Just to be aware that they could run under the wheels of his car.

He thought I was being a pain and a nagging wife.

He was wrong.

I just want him to apologize.  Yet I also don’t want to lay the blame on him.  Not because I think he is not to blame but what is the use?  It won’t bring Benji back.  It will just cause hurt and anger and emotions that will lead to nothing.

Quintus found out today and thought his dad was joking.  It took him a while to realize that it really did happen, that Benji really is dead.  Like me, he wants to cry alone.  I went to him and gave a big hug, comforted him but let him go when he moved away.  Later on I saw him sit by Benji’s grave. 

I feel better now that he knows.  With that anxiety of how he will react now gone, it feels like I can begin to accept this.

 

Snap and run

My husband is 38.  Yet he still follow orders from his parents like he is 8.

Remember when we were kids?  “Please go fetch us this”  “Take the dog out for a walk”  “Pick up your toys”.  Our parents ordered asked us to do many things.  As children we listened and did what was asked of us.  This is the way it works.

Then as we get older, grow up, become adults and get married, this changes.  We have our own lives.  Our own many orders that we need to follow from your wife due to our lives in general.  Our parents don’t expect us to follow orders anymore.  They will ask but not order.  The balance changes and this is a good thing.  We need to take care of our family’s needs.  Mostly we will do what our parents ask anyway but now we have to take into account our own family and our own needs as well. 

Or that is how I see it.

In Tommie’s situation, this hasn’t changed.  He is still 8.  They still order.  They snap their fingers and regardless of our needs, he will jump for them.  I know he means well.  I don’t doubt that.  However he is a grown man and choose to get married and have children.  Now we should be his priority.

Yesterday we had to rush home from the wedding.  I was feeling horrible.  I got the boys’ stomach virus and really needed his help.  I needed him home to help with our three boys.  I needed him home for some TLC for my own self.  However, he had told his parents he would take their caravan for them.  200 km from our home.  He had to sleep over there last night, leaving me alone with the boys all this time.  My father-in-law is coming through to town on Tuesday, he could pick up the caravan then.  Tommie could have taken the caravan today, when I probably would have felt better.

Again he chose to ignore my our needs. 

 

Congratulations!!!

On Friday Tommie had the opportunity to upgrade his cellphone on his contract.   He did so but took a phone for me and not for himself!  A phone that I have been wanting for a long time now. 

Isn’t that so sweet of him?  Giving me this phone!?  Major brownie points scored there!

My brother has a similar phone and since in 99 % of the cases I get the same phone he has,  I asked him to give a rundown of the ins and outs of my new toy.  (Why read the manual when you have a brother?) 

When it was time for my brother and sister-in-law to leave, my brother turned to shake my hand and congratulate me on my phone.  My SIL turned around and said:

You get a bigger congratulations for your phone than you did when the kids were born!

lol  Can’t help if we are gadget people right?