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When you do something right

You know, as a parent, we always wonder if we are doing the right thing. Did we do the right thing? Are we doing right by our children? Will we be sending children into the world that are independent, caring, happy and confident? People with empathy, respect for others. People who can grow but not outgrow who and where they came from. Just generally speaking, good people.

I must have done something right. I got this message from Quintus’ boss:

“Melany, ek moet net vir jou sê, jy het ‘n baie oulike seun groot gemaak. So vriendelik, hulpvaardig en hardwerken. Hy het ‘n “bright future”!!!! Valerie dink ook die wêreld van hom!”

Translated: Melany, I must just tell you raised a very good son. So friendly, helpful and hardworking. He has a bright future!!! Valerie (his boss’s wife) also thinks the world of him.

Thank you, Quintus. Thank you for being a great son. Thank you for growing up to be an awesome young man. Thank you for making me feel like an okay Mom.

I’m so very proud of you.

Questions

Every now and then I ask the children some questions.  It’s nice to keep for the future. It’s so sweet that they still answer them for me.

What do I say the most:

Kyla:  Use your fucking flicker light you idiot! Also: it’s not so bad.  Horses died in the war.

Jason:  Who is making food tonight? 😊

Zander:  I love you.

Quintus:  Clean up the dog’s poo on the lawn.

How tall am I?

K:  1,68?

J:  How much I know?  1,66?

Z:  1,75

Q:  1,60

What makes me happy:

K:  Peanut brittle or some surprise

J:  To make money / work

Z:  When we are happy.  When we do our work and when you work.

Q:  Snowy (my dog)

What do I most like to do?

K:  Read, Netflix

J:  To work or watch Netflix

Z:  To work or watch Netflix

Q:  To read

What makes me unhappy?

K:  …. This is a private (not my story to tell)

J:  When we don’t listen

Z:  When we are unhappy

Q:  When we fight

What is my favourite food

K:  Pasta

J:  Ocean Basket

Z:  Ocean Basket

Q:  Rice with garlic sauce and prawn

What about me irritates you

K:  When I don’t discipline the boys when they don’t do their work.

J:  Nothing, ek en Ma is rustig

Z:  Nothing that you do, Mom.  I get frustrated with schoolwork and then you think I’m frustrated with you but I’m not.

Q:  Nothing

What is my favourite TV program

K:  Blacklist / Modern Family / Superstore

J:  You don’t watch TV programs.  You watch Netflix series and Survivor.

Z:  Modern Family

Q:  Survivor

How old am I

K:  46

J:  46 (because Kyla said so)

Z:  42

Q:  46

What is my favourite colour

Everyone said red

How much do you love me

K:  Unconditionally

J:  You are my only mom, so I have to say a lot 😊

Z:  Indescribably lots

Q:  Soos die son (Something between us)

What do I drink most:

K:  Water and coffee

J:  Water and coffee

Z:  Coffee and water

Q:  Coffee

Where do I ride to the most

K:  To work (and Ouma)

J:  Work

Z:  To Potchefstroom and work

Q:  Ouma            

Department of Education

Not just the Department of Education but the whole government. I get that we have to protect the country, the health system and people from Covid. I get that! That is why I do my part. It is why I follow rules.

I just don’t understand stupid rules like you are allowed in restaurants, but you can’t be on the beach. You can go to the movies but you can’t go to church. I mean, who thought of those rules?

School was to start in January. I think the 15th? Somewhere around there. Kyla is back in government school for matric and she is very nervous about her final year. The same year that is yet to start. The DoE decided that they aren’t ready for schools to open. They don’t have the gear or stock for cleaning. Not enough staff. Whatever excuse. So no school until 15 February.

The schools decided that they would have the children pick up their books from school. Per grade, per class as to make sure that they don’t have too many children at school at one time. They would then continue with school online. The day before this is to happen, the DoE sends out a message that NO child is allowed on school property.

So please excuse my ignorance here but the children’s education is less important than going to a restaurant?Going to the movies?

Please can someone explain this to me. I must have a problem understanding.

Too motivated

Zander is a very motivated child … when it comes to swimming and gaming. He is in the pool at 6h30 with his friend, where they swim at least 2 km. They then gym for another hour. Proper gym, not chatting up girls or looking in the mirror. His friend wants to be an Olympic swimmer. They are focussed. Every afternoon he swims another 2 hours with his swim club.

Now, Zander is small. He is doesn’t have spare muscle or fat. He needs to put in a lot to make up for all the kilojoules he loses per day. I could see it was all getting to him when we started school. He would literally fall asleep while reading for marks. He could not stay awake until afternoon practice. He would have to sleep from after “school” until we leave for the half hour drive to his swim club.

It could not go on like that. He doesn’t want to hear about slowing down. He wants to do better. He wants to be better.

I’m going to get him to take in extra protein shakes that will hopefully work. I hope he will get it that he needs to eat more. It is not that he doesn’t want to, he is just not hungry. So rather, I hope his body gets ready for more food.

I phoned his urologist this morning. He has kidney issues. Basically he has one working kidney, so I also can’t just give any shake. It will have to be something his body can handle. Thankfully his doctor also has a son that is sportsman so he will know even more what is safe for Zander to use. He will contact me tomorrow after looking at his file.

I hope that we can find a balance. I told him no more gym on a Wednesday. (He will still swim in the afternoon) Feels like he is getting the day off but in reality he will just be doing what the other swimmers are.