This

Imagine you’re going about your day, minding your own business, when someone sneaks up behind you…

You feel something press up against the back of your head, as someone whispers in your ear.

“Sssshhhhh…. don’t turn around. Just listen. I am holding a gun against the back of your head. I’m going to keep it there. I’m going to follow you around like this every day, for the rest of your life.”

“I’m going to press a bit harder, every so often, just to remind you I’m here, but you need to try your best to ignore me, to move on with your life. Act like I’m not here, but don’t you ever forget… one day I may just pull the trigger… or maybe I won’t. Isn’t this going to be a fun game?”

This is what it is like to be diagnosed with cancer. Any STAGE of cancer. Any KIND of cancer. Remission does not change the constant fear. It never truly goes away. It’s always in the back of your mind.

❤ ❤ My friend, Heather posted this. I have never been able to put into words what the anxiety is like. This is it. This is what it is like. ❤️❤️

Thank you Covid

In my most sarcastic voice ever. Thank you Covid.

You messed up a whole year of his swimming. He worked so hard and you took away a whole year.

Last year, he qualified for SA Level 2 on the very last race of the season. He was SO happy and we were all so very proud. The weekend before levels though the country was locked down thanks to Covid.

They could only start training about 3/4 months later? Then they had two “drop and go” galas where we couldn’t even watch them swim. He did very well in those galas, qualifying for level two in all the freestyle, breaststroke and 200m back. He trained extra hard in the gym and then training in the afternoons. He was extremely motivated and ready.

Then he got Covid. Funny thing to put here. He tested negative even though he had ALL the symptoms. After Covid he has been battling with extreme lung pain and we couldn’t figure out what was causing it. Well, we saw a Cardiologist who picked up on a heart condition! and he sent us for an antibody test. Guess what, this mom was right after all. He did have Covid. The lung pain is from the Covid and now, a year later, he will be missing out on his SA Level 2 gala again. I’m so upset for him. Especially knowing how hard he worked to get here.

Life can be so darn unfair 😦 I whole year. I just hope that this pain won’t linger much longer so that he can go back to training.

Still sick…

Or should I say he is sick again? I’m losing track. He has been sick so often 😔

He had all the symptoms of Covid but tested negative. He has been sick for almost three weeks now though and he is not near better. His symptoms aren’t the same as when he got sick originally but he has been ill 🤒 for almost three weeks now.

At this stage he has, in his words “excruciating pain in his lungs”. He was diagnosed with bronchitis last week. He is worse, so we had a follow up xray but it shows healthy lungs now. Now what…

My mom had a good idea that I check the side effects of the medicine I use when I ventilise him and I just had to laugh. The one is “pain anywhere in your body”. Well that pretty much covers it all! 😂

So… It might or might not be a side effect. We will never know!

When you do something right

You know, as a parent, we always wonder if we are doing the right thing. Did we do the right thing? Are we doing right by our children? Will we be sending children into the world that are independent, caring, happy and confident? People with empathy, respect for others. People who can grow but not outgrow who and where they came from. Just generally speaking, good people.

I must have done something right. I got this message from Quintus’ boss:

“Melany, ek moet net vir jou sê, jy het ‘n baie oulike seun groot gemaak. So vriendelik, hulpvaardig en hardwerken. Hy het ‘n “bright future”!!!! Valerie dink ook die wêreld van hom!”

Translated: Melany, I must just tell you raised a very good son. So friendly, helpful and hardworking. He has a bright future!!! Valerie (his boss’s wife) also thinks the world of him.

Thank you, Quintus. Thank you for being a great son. Thank you for growing up to be an awesome young man. Thank you for making me feel like an okay Mom.

I’m so very proud of you.