Super Mom

Timing

Some times, just some times, timing sucks.  Timing causes me to blog about stuff I might not if I had to time to sit down and think about it.  I’m an impulse blogger *Is there such a thing?*  I hardly ever think what I’m going to write ahead of the time.  I blog about whatever is on my mind.

Tonight I am just pissed off.  I feel like I live a family life and my husband lives his own.  I get to be the heart of the family and he gets to join the family when he wants to.  

From the moment I wake up, till the moment I go to sleep if I get to sleep I  I get to be in the family.  I don’t have a life outside of it (unless you want to count my time at the gym).

He doesn’t.  He wakes up and has 10 minutes of family time before he leaves to work at 6:30.  There he is a single person right up till he comes home at night at 6 pm.  He doesn’t have to worry about the kids and all their activities, pain, hugs, kisses, appointments, play dates or anything…till he gets home again.

Oh wait…that’s not what I was going to bitch about.  (See wrong timing)

He just bought a new bakkie today.  Just like that.  No discussion.  Just a casual mention during a advert break.  Kinda like telling me he bought candy today.  Just a casual mention.

Am I upset that he bought the bakkie?  No not really.  Am I upset that he seems to have a life completely separate from mine?  YES.  Hell yes.  How do you buy a new car and NOT let your wife know!?  How do you live such separate lives that you don’t share that?

Like I said.  He just joins our lives when he chooses too.   

Advertisements

17 responses

  1. Hay

    First let me say I really enjoy your honesty in your posts.
    I guess it’s a hard one, My Honey can be like that. Sometimes he gets so caught up in stuff that happens at work that when he gets home he is still there really, and isn’t able to concentrate on us. Other times he sneaks home, or calls to say he’s missing us and I feel better. I do get jealous of his freedom, the ability to do what you want, when you want. With homeschooling my girls I pretty much get zero kid free time and it does get overwhelming.
    I can’t imagine My Honey buying a car without me knowing, in my opinion you have every right to be upset about that! Try revenge….go shopping lol.

    November 29, 2007 at 10:35 pm

  2. So a bakkie is a car? Oh yeah…I’d be pissed off too.

    November 30, 2007 at 1:35 am

  3. Tricia

    Melany, I can relate to the car. (although I didn’t know for the life of me what a bakkie was at first. LOL). My DH bought me a new car once and there it was in the driveway. He thought he was being so nice and I was ticked. That’s something you discuss. You are 100% right. I feel very similar sometimes. DH can go out to lunch, travel etc. and have a single life while 24/7 I am ‘mom’. And the kicker is the kids flock to him when he is home. Oh well. Still, though wouldn’t trade it for anything.
    Hang in there (Tricializ)

    November 30, 2007 at 1:36 am

  4. why are men (some) so like that? (joining only the family just whenever they feel like)

    i feel bad about the bakkie too. it’s just not so right… because it’s not a very simple thing.

    November 30, 2007 at 4:15 am

  5. I wish I could sit there with you holding coffee so you can get it all out of your system. Sometimes when life gets tough, you just need to let it all out. I can see why this is your outlet. I don’t have many friends myself or at least one I trust so blogging is it for me. I understand the car thing. That would be really frustrating. That is just a huge financial decision to make without sharing with each other.

    November 30, 2007 at 4:44 am

  6. Kim

    (((hugs))) mel. It’s not the car, or anything else that is bought or done, I’m sure. The “separate life” must be what hurts so much. I’m sorry. 😦 (((hugs again)))

    November 30, 2007 at 4:47 am

  7. I read something that rang so true… these little spats (although a car isn’t really “little”…) are part of the underlying problem of feeing totally and utterly disconnected from each other. Like you’re roommates with several little ones running around. We have to stop and think/talk about that often.

    November 30, 2007 at 5:12 am

  8. OMG. A bakkie. Without telling you. Gee-zus.

    The hubby and I sort of have this funny agreement, that the only time we’ll turn up with new cars (without telling one another) is when we’ve won a disgusting amount of money on the UK lottery, have paid cash for them, and brought them both home with a big red bow on them. (I say ‘them’ because we’d buy his and hers cars then 🙂

    I still can’t believe he did that. I mean you guys do actually have some joint finances right? I think I’d actually have such a major freakout and would probably start chucking his clothes out the window or something… what did you do!?

    November 30, 2007 at 6:59 am

  9. Wenchy

    None of this is proper… but you already know THAT.

    November 30, 2007 at 9:25 am

  10. oh boy i hear you woman… i once was married too and that thing got me the most, i also had a full-time job but i was always on duty, always on top of everything…where he well just wasn’t…. i always told him that he lived two separate lives, and that my friend is a dangerous thing… don’t let it just go by, it’s not the fact that he bought the bakkie, it’s the principal, you also have to have an opinion, and about that feel very strongly. phew, i should have been a marriage councillor… 😉 good post!

    November 30, 2007 at 11:27 am

  11. Annie

    I know the feeling Mel, even though we don’t have kids yet it sometimes feel like the entire household and it’s responsibilites rest on my shoulders only, cause he is devoting all his time to the big corporate and it’s shareholders. 😦 Not cool, but what can I say I love the guy.

    November 30, 2007 at 10:37 pm

  12. Oh, I used to live this life too. I remember pinching the pennies too. Then my darling husband would do something like yours did without even mentioning it or discussion about some major purchase.

    Hopefully, things will change for you the way they have for me. The two of us are finally a team on everything. I wouldn’t have believed it had I not lived it. Hang in there.

    December 1, 2007 at 1:21 am

  13. FV

    I think a bakkie in the US is pronounced bucky and that it is a pickup truck. First of all, those aren’t cheap. Second of all here you normally both have to be present at least if it is going to be both people’s. Last but not least I would shoot my husband dead if he made a major purchase without a long discussion prior. Then again he is a financial guru and wouldn’t dare. Nonetheless, I would have cursed him out and made him take it back.

    December 1, 2007 at 5:49 am

  14. WOW, I’d be pissed too! Tell him (although I’m sure you did about the truck). But tell him how you feel and that he will regret this down the road…when the kids are grown and gone and it’s just the two of you. By then you’ll have your own life and he’ll be wanting to be part of yours…maybe too late??

    December 1, 2007 at 6:49 am

  15. Wow….I’d be feeling the same way:( I’m so sorry to hear he did that.

    I’d be making him take that thing back:0

    December 1, 2007 at 4:07 pm

  16. Addie

    Somehow reading this makes me feel that my marriage seems “normal” … for once its feels good to know that I am not the only one moaning about things that matter

    December 2, 2007 at 11:33 am

  17. ouch.. so sorry mel…

    December 3, 2007 at 8:23 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s