Super Mom

Just the same

I just realized that I treat my body in pretty much the same way as I treat the silence in the house.

I haven’t been to gym almost all year.  Shocking I know.  So what do I do to make up for this?  I starve myself all morning long.  By lunch time I eat cause I’m starving and I’m at my folks house and my mom makes awesome food.  By the time I get home my body is just so thankful that it got food in the first place that it goes completely haywire and has anything and everything that is edible.

Now see.  That’s the silence in our home.  Silence for days weeks.  Then all of a sudden some words exchanged and I talk back.  Cause I hate the silence and my kids don’t need this crap.  Then by night time I’m just SO thankful that everyone is having normal conversation that I never bring up the real issues in case it brings back the silence again.

I remember as a child I had this dream so many times.  I would see two lines moving towards each other.  Not directly but very slowlymoving towards each other.   Then just as they get close, everything goes haywire.  All of a sudden there’s a million other lines that cross each other at a huge speed and seem to roll into one huge mass of lines.  Eventually the mass will disappear and there will be two lines.  Moving towards each other.  Slowly.

I think that dream is like life.  Everything goes smoothly.  Slowly.  At a steady pace.  Then things go absolutely haywire very quickly.  Now for some unknown reason the silence is broken and I’m just thankful for that.

It’s not right but it’s better than the silence.



7 responses

  1. my3boysandi

    praying for you Mel

    April 11, 2008 at 11:29 pm

  2. Hmmm…life never seems to move along slowly to me.

    April 12, 2008 at 12:57 am

  3. some silence are deafening…

    April 12, 2008 at 3:04 am

  4. sometimes I wonder why men are ok with silence.I mean, isn’t that too childish!? We have the silent treatment at home sometimes too and I am always the one to break it because he never does!

    April 12, 2008 at 4:52 am

  5. When there’s tension in our house, I also hate the silences. I tend to make inane chatter just to fill it. Then I realise I’m probably just talking to myself anyway and decide I’m over it. Until HE sucks up the stupid feeling and starts to initiate it with me. Yeah, silence sucks, and you’re right your kids don’t need the tension anyway. Probably better to fill those silences with something…music? 🙂 Thinking of you.

    April 12, 2008 at 9:34 am

  6. Wenchy

    You can put all the music in the world on and it will never drown out emotional silence.

    1.I always worry about you eating, for reasons you know.
    2.I say fucker allot when I think of the silence.

    I love you always.

    April 12, 2008 at 11:22 am

  7. Silence is not good at all.

    April 12, 2008 at 2:42 pm

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