Super Mom


How do you drive 2 hours from your home, to the town where your grandchildren live,  go shopping, sleep over at friends and not come and see your grandchildren! They were here yesterday and today and did not even phone my kids or come over for a cup of coffee.

It’s been 8 years since they became my children’s not-so-grandparents and I still cannot get over the fact that they care so little.   That they make no effort to see our children.  That they must be hurting their son by acting like this.  That they are lying fitwits when they tell my kids they miss them.

I cannot tell my chidlren this.  I cannot keep them away from their grandparents but oh how I wish I was more of a bitch so that I would.



19 responses

  1. My wife’s parents live 90 minutes away. We haven’t seen them in two years. Yet they’ve been up this way for medical appointments and trips to the airport in the big city 30 miles to the west.

    I can’t figure it out.

    My kids aren’t hurt by it. Not yet. Some day, when they’re older, they’ll stop and think, “What the hell?!?” And they’ll wonder if maybe their grandparents just hated them.

    The really awful thing is that my in-laws regularly visit their other grandchildren, who live in faraway places. My theory is that it’s because those other three sets of grandchildren have their last name, while my kids don’t.

    Whatever the reason, it sucks. My wife has now basically stopped talking to them because of it.

    June 5, 2008 at 7:33 am

  2. Oh, I forgot to say, that MY mom and stepdad just happen to live in the very same town as my in-laws. But my mom is able to come up here on a regular basis. She’s constantly thinking of her grandchildren, sending them little gifts and cards. She goes all out on their birthdays and Christmas. Most of all, she takes the time and shows them what a grandparent is supposed to be like. At least my kids will have one that loves them.

    June 5, 2008 at 7:35 am

  3. jen

    its hard I know

    June 5, 2008 at 7:42 am

  4. jen

    the boys will understand how uncaring they have been when they are older

    June 5, 2008 at 7:43 am

  5. Wenchy

    I know… I know… I know….

    June 5, 2008 at 9:55 am

  6. One day those grandparents will regret it dearly, but it will be too late.

    I am very lucky that my kids have equal love from both sets of grandparents. And the loss of their grandfather not so long ago was so evident of that for me …

    June 5, 2008 at 10:59 am

  7. my in laws were the same, so one day my ex just had enough and told them in front of the whole family:

    what’s up with your attitude, when we come to visit there’s NO cookies or coldrink or anything for my kids… seriously start acting like grandparents, you’re supposed to spoil them a little!!!! 🙂

    in our case it worked, things are now better but some poepol (i mean people) just don’t want to be grandparents, which is very sad!

    June 5, 2008 at 11:25 am

  8. Calling Him Out

    That’s too bad, I feel for you.

    June 5, 2008 at 1:18 pm

  9. It is *really* up to T-man to SAY something to them. I would be seriously cheesed off if my inlaws did that to us. As much as they annoy me, they do at least make an effort (even though they’re in the UK now) and keep in touch on Skype. My MIL even sings my eldest songs (with the most hideous and hilarious actions – I wish I could tape it and youtube it! Buwahahaha), and says rhymes and stuff for him. He’s always *so* excited to talk to “Gwanny and Pops” on the ‘puter’. Even though I know they are seriously in love with my SIL’s kids (way more than mine it’s so obvious) they at least don’t make it too obvious when we’re all in the same room.

    June 5, 2008 at 3:03 pm

  10. F

    How? I’ll tell you how… the same way a certain mother tells her son that she doesn’t want to see anyone (son, DIL, or grandkids) even if they’re coming through that town on their way to their annual holiday. And who hasn’t seen those same kids, etc, in a year.

    June 5, 2008 at 4:04 pm

  11. Isis

    It is a sad thing indeed.
    To add to all the things said so far, I occured to me that your husband is treating you the same he gets treated by his parents – total disregard for the other person. Am I seeing things wrong here?

    June 5, 2008 at 7:06 pm

  12. This breaks my heart:( I’m sorry to hear about this. I’m sure that ONE day they will really regret not taking time to see them:(

    June 5, 2008 at 8:41 pm

  13. Gen

    That is so not nice of them! I think T should say something to them, I mean really!!!!

    June 5, 2008 at 9:35 pm

  14. CP

    Before Mr H and I got married, we made the decision to move 3000 miles away and live on the opposite coast to avoid grandparent problems. Best decision we ever made. His brother has 4 boys and constant grandparent issues. I have to hand it to my sister-in-law for dealing with it. I chose not to!

    June 6, 2008 at 7:01 am

  15. FV

    My parents would love to be even 1500 miles away from their grandchildren. instead they are over 3,000 and they get to seem them once a year. Now my parents aka grandparents don’t like flying but, they are more than willing and able should they need to.

    June 6, 2008 at 3:50 pm

  16. FV

    Oh, and one more thing eventually the children are old enough to put two and two together. So, for now you are ok. 🙂 Your parents are great grandparents 🙂

    June 6, 2008 at 3:52 pm

  17. Sheesh, that’s hectic! Even tho I grew up in Cape Town and my dad’s folks in Natal, either they came to us or my folks put my sis & I on a plane to visit them at least annually (back when flying as an unaccompanied minor was probably safer!). I can’t imagine a situation like yours! It’s shocking on their part.

    June 9, 2008 at 9:03 am

  18. aw mel thats heartbreaking!
    it makes absolutely no sense…

    June 9, 2008 at 5:50 pm

  19. No way! That is unimaginable. A couple of times I’ve had to drive an hour and a half to meet my daughter for something while Ethan is in school. I’ve NEVER been able to just turn around and come home. I always have to see that little boy, even if it means staying way longer than necessary.

    I’m so sorry.

    June 10, 2008 at 12:05 am

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