I’m just depressed
Hi. I’m Melany. I’m depressed.
URGH. Hate that. I’ve been fighting the feeling. Trying to wish it away. Imagine it away. Push it away. I can’t. I’m depressed. Even though I’m aware of it. Even though I don’t want it. It’s here. I’m depressed.
I’ve been through depression before. I didn’t cope well. I need to cope better this time.
I know hope it’s caused by the increase of medication. I had to double my epilepsy medication and depression is one of the side – effects. So while I’m no longer getting one attack upon the other, I’m depressed.
I hope that when my body adjusts to the dose, I will be depressed no more.
I couldn’t decide if I should blog about this or not. Depression is very personal. I’m a very proud person (and no, I don’t think it’s a good thing). I don’t like to admit to ‘weakness’. I want to feel in control of my life. Good enough. More than good enough. Admitting to being depressed is admitting to a weakness. A weakness that many people feel is something one can just ‘snap’ out off. Not true. So I try to hide it. Smile and wave and all of that. Can’t help how I truly feel though.
I’m just depressed. I hate that.
BTW I have the type of epilepsy where other people won’t even notice I have an attack. It’s just my brain having a bit of an electrical storm.