Super Mom

Bully or standing his ground

I walked Jason to his class after school to get his school bag when one of the boys ran up to me.  He accused Jason of grabbing him by the throat.  Jason confirmed that he had done that.  Not hiding from the truth.  He did say though that the boy kept on hitting the ball out of his hands.  I explained to him in no uncertain terms that it is not acceptable and best he not behave that way again.  Violence does not make things right.

This afternoon during the cricket practise, one little boy kept on irritating everyone including me Jason.  He would push him out of the way or run in front of him to get the ball, with every ball that went Jason’s direction.  Eventually Jason couldn’t take it anymore and came to me to complain.  This little guy ran behind Jason too tell me his side of the story too.  Jason was still in the process of talking when he chirped up.  This is when Jason had enough and pushed him hard enough to make him go back a step or six.

First instinct was to reprimand Jason.  Again.  Not acceptable behaviour.  However tonight I’m lying here feeling bad about reprimanding him when he came to me.  When he wanted me to stand up for him.  Oooohhh I do so well on Mommy guilt.

The other thing though…he never went out to hurt these guys.  It was never about being a bully or attacking them just because.  Both these guys were irritating him.  Looking for trouble.  Wasn’t he just standing up for himself.   Knowing him, he would have asked them to stop.  I know he took a lot more crap from that guy at the cricket than I would have.  So wasn’t he just standing up for himself?

Parenting is not for sissies.


7 responses

  1. it is so not for sissies, and thats a very fine line to try and tread- the whole defence VS bullying line.

    September 5, 2008 at 9:15 am

  2. Lots of my son, CJ’s demerits come from exactly the same scenario … we do alot of talking about “walk away before you loose it” but its not always easy.

    Mommy Guilt? I know what you mean!!!

    September 5, 2008 at 12:28 pm

  3. Wenchy

    I remember Kevin once punching a boy after telling him more than once to stop…..

    September 5, 2008 at 12:56 pm

  4. I know all about mommy guilt. But I hope you reprimanded the little sheit who was interrupting J. I think he was right to stand up for himself though. I probably would have told the other boy to shut up first, and then reprimanded J lightly for pushing. I think sometimes kids can’t vocalise fast enough, which is how pushing/hitting/kicking starts. While it’s *NOT* okay, sometimes we have to understand why. I’m sure you did a great job with the two of them, don’t worry about it too much – there will probably be more to worry about tomorrow! Ack! You’re right. Parenting is NOT for sissies.

    September 5, 2008 at 8:12 pm

  5. Well I did. Not going to let that little punk think he can get away with treating my son like that.

    September 5, 2008 at 10:30 pm

  6. Isis

    Parenting is definitely not for sissies.
    And Mommie guilt sucks. Have you considered telling your son that you are kind of sorry for jumping on him – or did I get that wrong here? That you are sorry you pounced him when he came to you for help, etc.
    I discusssed a lot with my daughter about this kind of stuff, about the (possible ) cost of doing things and such. When she got bullied at school and eventually beat the other kid really hard (back) she was in trouble with school, which stirred up quite something.
    This is definitely not the fun side of parenting…
    Hope tomorrow will go easier on you.
    How was braii day?

    September 5, 2008 at 11:52 pm

  7. orangeninja76

    It seems we don’t let kids do anything these days. My son got sent to the principals office on the second day of school for hurting some other child’s feelings while in the lunch line. He said soemthing along the lines of “Now I know not to sit next to you” and he was sent to the principals office. What will happen when these children are grown and someone hurts their feelings? Who will they run to then? While I expect my son to be on his best behavior at school, it seems like they are over protecting the children. Having your feelings hurt is a part of life, and learning to resolve conflict is part of life too, sadly a part that the school administrators and even parents aren’t letting the children do.

    I understand your guilt, but isn’t it hard to be a mom? It’s so hard. It’s several different emotions in the span of an hour over one event… or incident.

    I haven’t been over here to read, been way busy. I just wanted to stop and say hi, I didn’t intend to leave a novel in your comments. It’s past one a.m. where I am, I gotta get to bed.

    Hugs from NY

    September 7, 2008 at 7:39 am

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