Super Mom

Heavy heart

I sent two of my boys to school with a very heavy heart today.

Quintus was physically sick yesterday from anxiety.  He is getting his school report tonight and he is so stressed about it.  It’s that in combination with getting into trouble at school.  I have written before at the positive motivation system the school has.  I expect of him to do well in that.  I don’t expect perfect marks but I expect the boys to be well behaved at school.  I know that they are when they do well in the motivation system.

They are apparently now working in groups.  Just really stupid at their age fine and dandy.   When one of the kids dont’ behave well, they ALL get a mark next to their name.  In a very humiliating way, since they have to walk to one of the teacher to  tell her they misbehaved.  I find this very unfair.  They don’t get to choose the group.  They dont’ have the right to remove the naughty child from their group.  How can they all then be punished?  I know this causes him a lot of anxiety.  So that combined with the report, was probably just too much.  I will have a talk to his teacher tonight about this whole group punishment issue.

Then little Zander.  My poor baby guy fell at the day mom on Friday.  I knew today would be difficult to get him to stay.  It was.  He wouldn’t put his bag down.  He kept it in his hand and as soon as I started to make a move to leave, he would pack up his breakfast and put it in his bag.  He did not want to stay.  At least not without me.  My heart felt so sore when I left.

At least Jason went with a happy heart.  Man that guy loves school.

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15 responses

  1. I am 100% sure that he has no reason whatsoever to stress!!!

    October 13, 2008 at 10:45 am

  2. Dumb ideas schools have sometimes. Totally unfair. I suppose they believe in the Lord of the Flies philosophy of discipline, and that is that if one child misbehaves – they should rather beat him up behind the lockers than face group punishment…hey *that* might work!!!

    Ha ha ha.

    Shame poor guy. He’s always so good too. Glad to hear that J is loving school. Z-man, shame – does he go full day or half day to the day mom? Poor little guy, it just kills you when they don’t want to stay somehwere with out you!

    When I went to go and do that nursery school photo shoot, my friend Liezell watched the kids for me – and she has a boy just a year older than Skippy – I thought he would NEVER let me leave – but when I said bye – he barely looked up from the cars he was playing with – which really surprised me because I’ve never left him there before!

    October 13, 2008 at 2:31 pm

  3. He only goes on Mondays and Fridays. Only half days as well. I knew today would be hard but hoped it wouldn’t be this bad.

    October 13, 2008 at 2:56 pm

  4. That is the stupidest thing I ever heard! Group punishment for eight year olds? Actually, group punishment in general makes no sense. I expected better than that of the school. I wonder, does the headmaster even know about it?

    October 13, 2008 at 3:15 pm

  5. THAT’s the thing. I don’t think it’s a school thing. It’s the first time I have heard about this. I’m going to have a chat to his teacher tonight and hear what’s up.

    October 13, 2008 at 3:37 pm

  6. I would have a heavy heart for sure. I hate those kinds of group things in school and I agree, that is way to young for it. (But I’m not sure it is ever appropriate.) It hurts to see kids hurting and this makes me sad.

    Even with the banged up face, Zander is still a cutie.

    October 13, 2008 at 4:07 pm

  7. jenty

    It’s one thing to have group work for school work, but another thing completely to have group punishment, that’s completely unfair!

    October 13, 2008 at 4:09 pm

  8. Kimberly

    (((HUGS))) Melany!

    That sounds like a very unfair setup they have in school! I am so sorry.

    I hope Zander heals up quickly.

    October 13, 2008 at 4:54 pm

  9. Evi

    That is what happened to DS when he was in reg B&M school. They worked in groups and if one for example did get in trouble for hitting or talking when it was quite work time, the entire table got in trouble. I remember DS telling me he felt sorry for his friends on the ‘red’ table, because they weren’t bad, but got in trouble because of the one kid who was a bully. Not fair at all. I just mentioned it to him (we not virtual school at home for the past 2 yrs) and he still seems to get upset just thinking about it. He was lucky for sitting at the right table.

    October 13, 2008 at 4:56 pm

  10. Marié Archer

    Mel did you talk to the teacher about this ? I think this is rediculous !!

    Poor Quintus he stresses so easily.

    October 13, 2008 at 7:19 pm

  11. Wenchy

    How did it go?

    October 13, 2008 at 9:12 pm

  12. my3boysandi

    poor Quintus and Zander
    my thoughts are with them both

    October 13, 2008 at 9:19 pm

  13. That sounds very unfair to punish the whole group. Actually, just this morning, I asked Noah’s teacher to take him out of cluster seating and give him his own desk in his own space. I think it will make things go much smoother for him. I don;t understand why some teachers (I said some, not all) don;t try to find various solutions to meet each students’ needs, rather than treat them all the same. I taught for 7 years before I stayed home,and I used to work hard to find solutions. Luckily, Noah’s teacher seems to be willing to try different ideas. I hope things get better for them soon.

    BTW, I love the new look.

    October 14, 2008 at 6:28 pm

  14. I do not agree with the group punishment either. At this age one on one is very important and 8 year olds should not have to worry about stress. Poor Zander! What an ouchy! I hope everyone is feeling better.

    October 14, 2008 at 8:22 pm

  15. Wow, that would kill Jackson. He and Quintus sound a lot alike in this way. He’s even afraid to talk to the kids that get in trouble routinely at school, because he so much doesn’t want to get into trouble. I would definitely have to speak to his school too if they did that.

    And poor Zander with his boo boos, so sad.

    October 15, 2008 at 3:22 am

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