Super Mom

From ashes to ashes

My grandfather is no more.   Like the big black book says “From ashes to ashes”. 

I was really sad today.  I was more emotional and upset than I thought I would be.  We all followed the pall-bearers as they carried my grandfather the coffin out.  We all watched, in silence, as they drove away with the granddad we will never see again.  There was not one person who didn’t have tears in their eyes.

The family and friends turned around to enjoy the cucumber and tomato sandwiches snacks that the sweet old ladies of the church makes.  I kept to myself an eye on the boys. 

My aunt came to me and asked why I looked so sad…and the thing is, I knew she was sad too.  So was every other person there.  Yet, they seemed to put that in their back pocket, put on a mask and enjoy the conversations.  I could not.  I could not have that experience, that last goodbye and then just go on again.

Nothing wrong with not being able to obviously. Just as there is nothing wrong with doing so.  Losing my grandfather has hit me harder than I thought.

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13 responses

  1. jenty

    I’m so sorry Mel (((HUGS)))

    November 28, 2008 at 11:03 pm

  2. my3boysandi

    Massive Hugs my dear sweet friend

    I LOVE the coment you left me the other day

    hang in their sweetheart
    reflect on the good times you had with him
    your in my thoughts and prayers
    x0x0x0

    November 29, 2008 at 12:11 am

  3. I’m so sorry!

    I think it’s odd that your aunt asked you why you look so sad…at your grandpa’s funeral. I think it’s so much better to be real, then pretend you’re not sad. A funeral is the place that you should be grieving.

    November 29, 2008 at 2:49 am

  4. It all takes time. I am sure you feel quite numb and the feeling comes back with time. Everyone grieves in their own way. Hugs to you and your family Mel on this very sad day.

    November 29, 2008 at 4:57 am

  5. Hugs, dear friend!
    Hope the hurt doesn’t stay to long but rather turn into good lovely memories.

    November 29, 2008 at 7:04 am

  6. Wenchy

    Ja nee skat. Ek verstaan ook nie hoe mens huil en dag glimlag terwyl jy die toebroodtjies eet nie… EN dis altyd tematie and cheese ne?

    Ek verstaan. Jy weet dit… en dis regtig crap.

    November 29, 2008 at 7:44 am

  7. I understand how you are feeling. Only too well.
    I wish you peace.

    November 29, 2008 at 7:01 pm

  8. I’m very sorry Melany. My thoughts are with you and your family.

    November 30, 2008 at 6:35 pm

  9. I am so sorry for your loss, Melany. We just lost our new little one we were expecting, too.

    November 30, 2008 at 11:41 pm

  10. Sirnoid

    Sterkte my vriend.

    thanks for coming yesterday.

    December 1, 2008 at 8:14 am

  11. Sorry again for your loss and thinking of you. xx

    December 1, 2008 at 11:17 am

  12. Oh Melanie I am so sorry I am just now reading about this. My heart goes out to you. I am sorry for your loss.

    December 5, 2008 at 9:45 am

  13. I’m trying to catch up on my feeds and only now found out that your grandfather passed away. I’m SO sorry. Thinking of you and yours.

    December 9, 2008 at 4:27 pm

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