Super Mom

It’s not always sunshine and roses

Disobedient and pushing my buttons.  All the time.  That is Kyla at the moment.

She just won’t listen.  She is pushing her boundaries constantly.  It is exhausting.  It’s hard work to make sure I keep those boundaries where they are and not give in, not even once.  Not even when I’m in pain.

It is also more difficult when it is not your child.  When you know that child has little boundaries at home.I don’t like the constant ‘fight’ to get her to listen.

I hope she will learn quickly that back-chatting and her disobedient behaviour won’t be tolerated at our home.

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13 responses

  1. Just remember, when the teachers at school claim ADHD/ADD or some other grouping of letters, you know your child.
    Some extreme cases, sure, maybe acronyms, but mostly it is age specific nonsense.
    You may be comforted by that, but, more likely, you are thinking, ‘when does this age-specific cr*p end!!)

    March 16, 2009 at 9:45 pm

  2. Shame must be extra hard when you are not well. Stay firm but loving. Apparently this is VERY normal with adoptive/foster children. They expect to be rejected and so behave in a way which will end in rejection. You need to work through it so they can see you are NOT giving up on them. That’s what I have heard/seen anyway.

    All the best Mel. You are amazing!

    March 16, 2009 at 10:08 pm

  3. Good luck with it. Such a sweet little girl but I can see she can be a bit of a handful.
    I really hope your arm is way better by tomorrow!

    March 16, 2009 at 10:31 pm

  4. It has been my experience that children push back because they want to know they have rules. Some of the toughest kids I taught in the city were like this, and while it was so easy to write them off as deviants or whatever, I knew it was because their testing the boundaries was their way of making sure those boundaries were firm like they so desperately wanted them to be. Because within those boundaries they felt safe, and that’s all they really wanted – a safe place. She’ll come around and come to love and desire those boundaries.

    Hope you’re healing well, Melany

    March 16, 2009 at 11:09 pm

  5. My son tests rules and boundaries at both his homes. Problems arise when something major goes down at one house and the other parent isn’t informed. When our coparenting shows chinks in the armor, he knows exactly where to pick us apart. It’s madenning! Hopefully these skills will make him highly employable someday! 🙂 (Sorry, I’m searching for a bright spot)

    March 17, 2009 at 3:32 am

  6. I think that her behaviour is “normal”. However, that does not make it any easier on you. She will just have to learn that there are boundaries.

    March 17, 2009 at 6:23 am

  7. Wenchy

    Shame babe. Is not fun dealing with difficult kids, men or dogs when you not (especially!)feeling well.

    Ek het jou lief. Wish that fixed the world.

    March 17, 2009 at 7:58 am

  8. sarah

    you describe Abigail. and she IS my child so I can only imagine how difficult it is when it isn’t your child.

    March 17, 2009 at 1:16 pm

  9. Mom Archer

    Just stick to your guns so she knows where the boundaries are in your home. She has to adapt and learn to live with it.

    I saw first hand how she tries to manipulate situations when she went with us to Golf Reef City. She is a lovely little girl and just needs guidance which you are giving her

    Not easy for you now while you are in so much pain.

    Love

    Mom

    xxx

    March 17, 2009 at 6:17 pm

  10. Bond Girl

    completely understand. hope you feeling better.

    March 17, 2009 at 7:56 pm

  11. Wenchy

    I miss you. Lots.

    March 17, 2009 at 10:51 pm

  12. It will all be for her own good at the end and it will benefit so many people – one day when she is old enough, she will be forever gratefull.

    Bless your heart for being there for her, Mel!!!

    March 19, 2009 at 2:50 pm

  13. Its tough for her too- she’s spending her time in relative luxury now comparatively, and perhaps questioning her mother’s motives without even realising thats what she’s doing.

    March 26, 2009 at 9:40 pm

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