Super Mom

45 Year old Virgin

I just read an article about 3 women who are in their 30’s and still Virgins.  Sjoe ne’.

Look, more power to you if you want to stay a Virgin.  Really.  Very proud en so.

The one woman has an aunt, who is 45 and still a Virgin.  Now THAT’s too much.  Really.  I mean her gyna won’t even know what to do if she gets to have sex that first time!

In all seriousness though.  Would you want to be a Virgin at 45?  Would you be happy not knowing what sex feels like?  What it feels like to be that close to someone? 

Are they still Virgins because they have never had proper relationships?  That they were never tempted?  No wait!  One of the ladies actually never kissed her husband until the day they got married.  Sure must have been a whirlwind romance ‘cause I honestly don’t know how anyone could do that.

I had sex before I got married.  And not with my husband.  With my long time boyfriend.  I was 21, working and living on my own.  We’ve been in a relationship for 2 years by then.

I have not felt sorry about that for one moment.  I sorted out many sexual issues I had during that relationship, that if I had to have done it with Tommie, I doubt we would still be together.  Even if it weren’t for that, I would still not be sorry.

So yeah.  More power to you if you want to be a Virgin at 45 but that’s not for me. 

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16 responses

  1. Poses a question, when is the right time to loose your Virginity?

    April 1, 2009 at 7:20 pm

  2. It’s about context. It can be incredibly inappropriate, or terribly wonderful. Sex without relationship seems to be a bit soulless, but a relationship without sex? Hmmm. Ahh, crap, I’m not qualified to comment- been married for so long. But a married relationship DEFINITELY needs sex, intimacy and everything else. The whole shebang.

    April 1, 2009 at 9:20 pm

  3. Addie

    Interesting. They must be from a far far away place called noddy land!!!

    April 1, 2009 at 9:21 pm

  4. mmmmmmmmm – I definitely would NOT cope well with that AT ALL.

    April 2, 2009 at 5:34 am

  5. Might as well wait until you’re 45 before eating chocolate for the first time 😉 Facetiousness aside, I think the abstinence movement is commendable. Sex just for the sake of sex has led to some of humanity’s (t)horniest issues. AIDS alone should be cause enough for people to tighten the old belt buckle.
    But in an intimate relationship surely it serves quite a vital purpose?
    I was lucky in that I met my dream guy (now my dream husband 😉 ) at twenty, so the wait wasn’t very long for me. I did want to wait until a ‘sure thing’ came along, but because I met him relatively young, my staying power was never put to the test.
    Sex is just so yummy, but if someone wants to deny themselves, I guess that’s their business and groovy for them to withstand the temptations of premarital sex.
    I, personally, would not feel comfortable being a 45 year old virgin, but that’s just me, the most curious girl on the planet ;-). I’d hate to feel like I was missing out on the action, lol.

    April 2, 2009 at 10:34 am

  6. Wenchy

    Kyk hoe gooi jy nou so van die seks en alles.

    I also read the article and I clearly didn’t make it as a virgin wench. Sorry! 🙂

    April 2, 2009 at 5:11 pm

  7. It wouldn’t be for me. If I couldn’t find the love of my life, I would still want to experience sex. But that’s just me…

    April 2, 2009 at 8:39 pm

  8. I guess its all down to personal choice ,but i could not imagine being a virgin at 45.

    Mind you i have a cousin the same age as me (27) who is still a virgin and its not really been her choice , she has never been in a relationship.
    I do feel bad for her as she is such a lovely person BUT has her head in the clouds – she loves Romance books and will not settle for anyone less than mister perfect. If he is not Brad Pitt handsome she will not even look at them, she is waiting for her prince to come and rescue her from her life. She lives at home with her parents and is either working or reading , i feel bad for her but she will not listen and insists she will not settle for just anyone

    April 4, 2009 at 8:16 pm

  9. Nope, not for me either.

    April 12, 2009 at 11:05 pm

  10. peter maxtor

    am a 45 year old virgin, not by choice, my penis was destroyed when I was 3 months old by circumcision. my parents and a doctor did this to me. the scar line left has left me with nothing but pain. tried to have sex, but its to painful. stop picking on older people that are still virgins, just because you have child supports payments, and I don’t. you can live with what I have to. thanks.

    April 20, 2009 at 12:26 pm

  11. Dave

    I’m 45 and a virgin. In my case it’s because I was treated like garbage all the way through high school so I had no self esteem or self confidence and I never learned any social skills. i was conditioned to believe I ‘m ugly and worthless. I’ve never been called good looking either. It hurts and I hate it but what can you do at this age. People who never had these kind of issues don’t understand them at all

    May 28, 2009 at 6:51 am

  12. Kathleen

    Nothing wrong with a 40 something being a virgin. If that is their choice then more power to them. At least they don’t have to worry about HIV, Herpes, genital warts, STD and unplanned pregnancies. For what ever reason they choose to not have premarital sex and that is OK. They should not be considered losers or anything just because they have morals that say they should not have premarital sex.

    August 13, 2009 at 12:40 am

  13. Tom

    I’m also a 45-year-old male virgin. And yes I am married. In my case my wife is very over-weight (over 400 lbs) and we’ve been unable to consummate our marriage. Before when I was in my teens and 20s, I was raised as a Southern Baptist, and my parents didn’t permit me to date during my teens, and I was discouraged to do so after 18. Also the AIDS crisis turned me off to sex. I didn’t even try to date or have sex until I was 37. Now I’m 45 yrs old, been married for almost 3 yrs. now and STILL haven’t have sex. Never having had sex has caused a lot of problems in my life, such as depression, anxiety, lack of appetite, feeling of worthlessness. I was taught to believe that it’s immoral to have an affair, but I feel like I can’t go much longer without sex. Having an affair might be my only way of ever getting laid.

    February 14, 2010 at 6:59 pm

  14. andrew

    I’m going to be 45 in August and i too have never had sex. This hasn’t been by choice, i have a serious problem with anxiety which i’ve had from the time i was little, which has put me in the hospital a number of times. When it comes to the ladies i panic and things go quite bad. So i’ve never learned how to woo a women or had a relationship with a women and then there’s the whole self esteem, depression thing as well.

    May 30, 2010 at 5:02 am

  15. Pingback: 2010 in review « Super Mom …. or not

  16. Ted

    I’m a 52-year-old male virgin. In my case it’s a matter of asexuality; I’ve never been interested in having sex with anyone, including when I lived with a girlfriend.

    March 19, 2011 at 9:47 pm

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