Tonight I’m feeling a tad depressed, sad. Unsure if what I’m doing is right.
Since becoming a Mom, I have only had my kids best interest at heart. My every decision was to make sure it was to the benefit of my kids. I always want my children to feel loved, validated and happy.
I try to raise my boys to always respect others. The rule in our house is, that if it doesn’t make another person happy, then you shouldn’t be doing it.
Then I brought Kyla into
their our lives. After her coming to our house for a few weekends, her mom asked if we could take her every weekend and some nights. I discussed this with the boys and with Tommie and we all decided that, yes it wouldn’t always be easy but we are willing to do so.
Some weekends have been better than others but mostly it has been okay. Since the holidays started, it’s been really tough though. She is with us every day and it is beginning to work on everyone’s nerves.
The boys aren’t getting any ‘brother’ time. They aren’t getting to just relax and chill.
Kyla is acting up and is totally draining me. It seems like a constant battle to keep the boys happy and her to behave well.
Am I doing the right thing? Is it just worse because it’ school holidays and she is with us all the time?
I feel like I’m letting the boys down. I hate feeling like that. I feel like a bad Mom for expecting them to share their time with her. I’m not used to this ‘bad Mom’ feeling to be honest.
I tried to find a crèche’ for her for the school holidays but I tried too late and couldn’t get her into one that I think is proper. I will definitely book ahead for the next holiday.
I can’t just show her the way and wish her good luck as she walks away. I’m not that person.
I don’t want to be a bad Mom either.