Super Mom

Kyla

Some of you have asked for an update on Kyla, or why I haven’t written much about her lately.

Kyla no longer comes to our house that often.  It was getting to my boys and they are my very first priority.  From the day we decided that she could come stay with us, I told the boys that if they felt it was disrupting their lives too much, we could discuss it again.

The situation did disrupt their lives.  We had a family meeting (really can’t like the sounds of that) and we discussed what the problems were and how to fix it.  For a while after that, we did try to change what we can and be accommodating but it wasn’t working.  I had to face the fact.

I thankfully had a lightbulb moment and realized that I could always pay someone to take care of her at her mom’s flat!!!  It’s been working perfectly.  Kyla is happy.  Her mom doesn’t have to worry about her.  The boys get to have their home and their relationship with each other back.

Do I miss having her around.  Of course.  Do I miss the drama that comes with her.  Not that much.  Her mom was starting to take HUGE advantage of me.  Phoning me to pick up Kyla from school (that is way on the other side of town) because she has visitors (which I only found out later).  Or asking me to take her to town, or pick up Kyla while she went shopping.  Kinda seeing me as her personal au pair.  I don’t do that well.

So, that’s where we are at with Kyla.  I feel this is the best outcome for all of us.

I didn’t have to turn my back and walk away.  The boys didn’t have to give up their personal space.

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13 responses

  1. You are such a good person, with an incredible heart. Did I mention brave too?

    Glad you found solution.

    June 11, 2009 at 10:07 pm

  2. Addie

    Sad to hear that Kyla’s mom took advantage of all your goodness. Glad to hear that you didn’t give up on Kyla completely – bless your heart, Mel.

    June 11, 2009 at 10:19 pm

  3. Her mom sounds like a real piece of work! Glad you found a way to make it work for all of you

    June 11, 2009 at 10:51 pm

  4. Meriel

    Its very special what you did. For her and the boys. Yay lightbulb moment.

    June 11, 2009 at 10:56 pm

  5. Jaxie

    it’s not proper that the mom took advantage of you.
    At least you have made some other arrangement.

    June 12, 2009 at 7:53 am

  6. Wenchy

    you did good.

    June 12, 2009 at 8:59 am

  7. you have such a good heart to do so much for her and you shouldn’t be taken advantage of.

    June 12, 2009 at 11:11 am

  8. Jennyklass

    You did well for her , but your boys must come first, you are a special person…..

    June 12, 2009 at 9:18 pm

  9. Oh I am so proud of you for not allowing Kyla’s mom to continue to take advantage of you because of some misplaced sense of guilt!
    I think you’ve made a tough situation work for all of you!

    June 12, 2009 at 10:12 pm

  10. Kimberly

    Melany,

    You are doing a wonderful thing for Kyla…not many people in this world today are like that. Kyla is fortunate to have you in her life. You are brilliant for coming up with the solution that you did.

    I wish one day that I could meet you in person. You are such an inspiration. 🙂

    Kim

    June 14, 2009 at 1:26 am

  11. I think what you are doing is simply awesome.

    June 14, 2009 at 11:47 am

  12. Joanne E

    Hugs, Mel – could not have been easy for you but at the end of the day you have to be fair to your own children – you cannot put another child’s welfare ahead of your own.

    June 15, 2009 at 11:56 am

  13. Some people would want to eat your whole arm if you give them your hand. I think you have given them the favor and it was not good for her mom to take advantage of you. Glad that everything is back to normal now. The boys must be happy too.

    June 17, 2009 at 1:44 am

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