Super Mom

SO true!

YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN:

Ø You produce a R100 note instead of your driver’s licence when stopped by a traffic officer

Ø You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement

Ø You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car

Ø You can count the national soccer team’s scores with no fingers

Ø To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750

Ø Hijacking cars is a profession

Ø You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light

Ø The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car

Ø More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election

Ø People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Patience, Precious, Innocence and Given

Ø “Now now” can mean anything from a minute to a month

Ø You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction

Ø Travelling at 120 km/h you’re the slowest vehicle on the highway

Ø You’re genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it

Ø A bullet train is being introduced, but we can’t fix potholes

Ø The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday

Ø You paint your car’s registration on the roof

Ø You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital

Ø You have to prove that you don’t need a loan to get one

Ø Prisoners go on strike

Ø You don’t stop at a red traffic light in case somebody hijacks your car

Ø You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once

Ø Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high

Ø When 2 Afrikaans TV programmes are separated by a Xhosa announcement of the following Afrikaans programme, and a Pedi ad

Ø The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are

Ø The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the programme you just
finished watching

Ø You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather

Ø You call a bathing suit a “swimming costume”

Ø You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you’ve never had any

Ø You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them

Ø You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Madela

Ø You go to “braais” (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors
(long meaty sausage-type thing) and swim, sometimes simultaneously

Ø You know that there’s nothing to do in the Free State

Ø You can eat half dried meat and not be considered disgusting.

Ø Nothing is your fault, you can blame it all on apartheid.

Ø You get to buy a new car every 3 months and the insurance company even pays for it.

Ø You can experience kak service in eleven official languages.

Ø Where else can you get oranges with 45% alcohol content at rugby matches?

Ø You’re considered clumsy if you cannot: use a cell phone (without car kit), change CDs,
drink a beer, put on make-up, re ad the newspaper and smoke,
all at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph in a 60 kph zone.

Ø Great accent. (!!!)

Ø If you live in Johannesburg, you get to brag about living in the
most dangerous city in the world.

Ø Burglar bars become a feature , and a great selling point for your house.

Ø You can decorate your garden walls with barbed wire.

Ø The tow-trucks are the first on the scene for most major crimes, without being called.
The police you have to call about three times.

Ø Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.

Ø Illegal immigrants leave the country because the crime rate is too high.

Ø The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you’ve just reported.

Ø A murderer gets a 6 month sentence and a pirate TV viewer 2 years.

Ø The prisoners strike and get to vote in elections!

Ø The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled

Ø Police cars are fitted with immobilisers and gearlocks!

Ø Condoms for free – shopping plastic bags for sale

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3 responses

  1. LOL! These are always sort of bittersweet, funnyish. And you know me and I have met Nelson Mandela (and Desmond Tutu). They were both sweet and friendly and Oompie Des blessed my daughter.

    February 9, 2010 at 3:28 pm

  2. Maggs

    So true one can’t help but laugh hysterically!
    Love the new header.

    February 9, 2010 at 5:05 pm

  3. Mwaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaa… hosed myself!!

    February 16, 2010 at 3:45 pm

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