Super Mom

My heart is so sore

It’s very difficult for me to write this.  It’s tough to accept that parents are willing to hurt a child so.

Last night at 12:30am, Kyla dad’s came to fetch her.  He phoned me at 7:30 pm to tell me.  I told him that he can not pick her up in the middle of the night and that he can get her in the morning.  He threatened me with the police and I decided it’s not worth making a scene and upsetting her more.

I had to wake her up to tell her that he is coming to fetch her.  There was no time for her to greet her friends, her teachers …. nothing.  I got my boys out of bed to say goodbye.

They don’t understand and think that she is going to come back.

I still don’t know why and I am so worried for her.  I know that he has not enrolled her at school, so she is going to get behind on her school work.

I knew that she’ll go back.  I had an agreement that she would go back to her dad at the end of the year.  I would have had time to prepare her and the boys of her leaving.

I had no time to do so now.  She was just ripped away.  Taken from where she was happy.  She was so upset.  She didn’t want to go.

They don’t care for her emotional well-being.  They cannot because I don’t see how anyone would do this to a child that they love.

I’m hugely upset for Kyla.  I thought her dad cared but clearly he does not.  What will happen to her?  She has no stability.  Nothing.

My heart aches for her.

35 responses

  1. Addie

    Oh, Mel! This is such a heart-wrenching story that seems to have no happy ending, no matter what!!!!

    My heart breaks for the little girl more then you can imagine. And not to mention the emotional roller coaster ride for your family.

    Its really sad.

    February 10, 2010 at 9:29 am

  2. WHAT!!!! I can’t believe he did that. Where will she stay now? Close to you? What about school etc etc? They can’t keep moving that poor child around.

    February 10, 2010 at 10:14 am

    • No she is nowhere close to us. She will be in Middelburg for a couple of weeks and then move to Durban….I don’t know WHAT’s happening with school

      February 10, 2010 at 11:15 am

  3. Ouma Archer

    Melany I feel so upset and heart sore for both you and Kyla. I saw her crying last night and it ripped my heart out. We can only pray that she will be safe and cared for. You and Tommie were amazing with what you were prepared to do for this little girl who needed it so much.


    February 10, 2010 at 10:15 am

  4. Susan

    Oh Melany, this is just heartbreaking. That poor little girl. I’m just so sad for you too, I can’t even imagine how hard this must be for you. You are an amazing person for taking this little girl into your home & giving her the love she deserves. I’ll be thinking about you & Kyla.

    February 10, 2010 at 10:23 am

  5. They (parents) are messing big time! I don’t understand them. They have just handed kyla over to you and now, they’re taking her!?!?! just when i think she feels she belongs and she’s got a good direction (life). You are even more of a parent than they are to Kyla.

    What a headache they are! Poor kyla. Poor you.

    February 10, 2010 at 10:28 am

  6. I love your new header, by the way.

    February 10, 2010 at 10:29 am

  7. Panni

    Just heartbreaking.

    February 10, 2010 at 10:49 am

  8. Moaning Myrtle

    I agree, how can someone hurt a child, their own child! if you love them.

    February 10, 2010 at 11:09 am

  9. Gen

    Sjoe – That is so so heartbreaking and sad.

    February 10, 2010 at 11:37 am

  10. And these people call themselves parents. How can anyone make their own child miserable and hurt them so? I would give my front teeth for another child and here they play with this little gift as if she’s a piece of dough. My heart is sore for you Mel.

    February 10, 2010 at 11:52 am

  11. Agh man 😦 WHY did he take her back if the doesnt plan to care for her – it really is so upsetting!!!!

    February 10, 2010 at 12:37 pm

  12. That’s just so unfair on her. I’m so sorry 😦

    February 10, 2010 at 12:45 pm

  13. Kimberly

    I am so sorry, Mel. My heart aches for Kyla. She looks so happy in that picture. (((((HUGS)))))) I pray she is okay.

    February 10, 2010 at 2:53 pm

  14. Poor little girl. Assuming that it is a divorce situation, does he have custody of her. Unfortunately it is not doing her any favours to have her experiencing normal family life with you if her father can remove her at any time. There needs to be a formal agreement drawn up so that you have the back up of the law. Maybe give childline a call to see if there’s anything you can do in this situation. A lot of people will use their children as pawns. If dad has a fight with mom, he runs off with the kids. Its so sad.

    February 10, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    • The mom was never married. She told me the dad had no legal rights to Kyla but last night when all this happened, I found out that she gave him legal rights last year

      February 10, 2010 at 3:03 pm

  15. Oh my, I am so sorry for her – she was safe and stable with you. And I feel sorry for you and your family who has opened their hearts and lives to a little girl in need.

    February 10, 2010 at 4:13 pm

  16. jen

    first of all I like your new banner

    from what happened to me last year
    I can understand how traumatic this is for you all



    February 10, 2010 at 4:55 pm

  17. So heart-wrenching and such a cruel thing to do to a little girl. I’m so sorry mel.

    February 10, 2010 at 5:10 pm

  18. Christy and Eliza

    Oh Mel…… I am so sorry that you all had to go through that. It is heart-breaking. Does the dad have to un-enroll her at her current school and then re-enroll her at the new one? HUGS to you and please keep us updated!

    February 10, 2010 at 5:49 pm

    • I didn’t have the guts to let the school know today but I will phone them tomorrow but he has to enroll her in a new school

      -original message- Subject: [Super Mom …. or not] Comment: “My heart is so sore”

      February 10, 2010 at 6:26 pm

  19. Evi

    Oh Mel, that is something so cruel, I cannot even imagine any parent would do this to a child. Pool Kayla never gets the chance to enjoy the [people she trusts and bonded with. I hope the father comes to his senses and when he realizes that it takes much more than what he probably is able to provide (not just financial, but I am mostly talking about emotionally), that once he ‘wakes up and smells the coffee’, that he then will return her to the ones that love her unconditionally.


    February 10, 2010 at 5:52 pm

  20. I am so sorry my friend…. do u have any news?

    February 10, 2010 at 6:52 pm

    • Her father doesn’t answer my calls or sms’s

      -original message- Subject: [Super Mom …. or not] Comment: “My heart is so sore”

      February 10, 2010 at 7:02 pm

  21. Rebekah

    I am so sorry to hear this, it’s not fair. I wish I could give you a big hug.


    February 10, 2010 at 7:29 pm

  22. JennyKlass

    I dont have the words…..

    February 10, 2010 at 7:35 pm

  23. I don’t understand how he could do that? Foster care must be very different over there. That would never be allowed here. Most of my foster kids natural parents never even knew where we lived.
    My heart aches for you and for your family. I know we’ve had to send kids back and I worried for them soo much, knowing the parents weren’t really ready. I’ll say a prayer for Kayla.

    February 10, 2010 at 8:30 pm

  24. Elizabeth (Bloggy Mama)

    praying for all of you, Mel.

    February 11, 2010 at 9:08 am

  25. any news my friend? how is michael also?

    February 12, 2010 at 10:57 pm

  26. Oh I am so sad to read this. That is heartbreaking!! Poor Kyla!!

    February 13, 2010 at 12:30 am

  27. Hi Mel – I haven’t been by in a while and was so sad to read this. I hope she is well and that things are better for her. It must have been so hard to see her go.

    I have a new website domain. or

    February 13, 2010 at 3:39 am

  28. I’m sorry Mel. I’m sorry that you and the boys are hurting, and I’m sorry for Kyla.

    February 16, 2010 at 3:37 pm

  29. Jislaaik – how did I miss these posts???? Mel, I am so sorry you have gone through this pain – I dont know how you coped but I am glad to read that it is all resolved and that her gran is taking care of her. Oh my, you must have felt like they ripped your heart out when the dad took her. xxx

    February 16, 2010 at 9:51 pm

    • To say that my heart was ripped out is such an understatement. I cried for 2 days non-stop. A smile didn’t come easily. Last night though, it was as if a whole dark cloud was lifted. I’m so happy.

      February 17, 2010 at 7:46 am

  30. Pingback: 2010 in review « Super Mom …. or not

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