Super Mom

Lack of respect

Something that really works on my nerves, is a child that blatantly ignores an adult. 

When I talk to a child, any child, I expect that child to look at me and acknowledge what I say.  If I ask them not to do something (that would be wrong by any standard of society), I expect them to listen.

Maybe it’s because I raise my kids like that.  Maybe it’s because I was raised that way.

Unfortunately I find that this is not the way things are anymore!

To give an example.  I have asked a child to get off from the rugby field (during a rugby match) and she completely looked me in the eye and kept on walking.

I’ve asked children to stop playing with sticks they kept putting into a fire and they would look me in the eye and continue.

I wondered if this was purely a “new generation” thing.  A lack of parental involvement in the kids’ lives.  That they just didn’t notice.

This however is not true.  Isn’t it said that children learn by example?

True.  So so true.

They see their parents skip a stop sign.

Park where they shouldn’t

Exceed the speed limit.

The one that stood out to me last week, was when parents were asked not to stand next to the rugby field while the kids where playing in the quarter-finals.  Over and over again they were asked to move away.  Most didn’t. 

That’s the example.  They stare into the eyes of those who asked.  Those who are applying the league rules and ignore them.

Can we expect differently from the children?

Probably not.

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14 responses

  1. Oh my word, you nail it down exactly!

    June 13, 2011 at 12:10 pm

  2. Adele

    I experience this all the time at the primary school where I work!!!

    June 13, 2011 at 1:06 pm

  3. So true. I’m not sure if it’s a parental thing, or a new generation thing, or a little of both though. I was terribly obedient of adults growing up, but I find myself wanting to teach my kids that while they should listen to US their parents, that they don’t have to listen to other adults – purely for their own safety. It’s hard to teach kids which authority to recognise these days.

    June 13, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    • I do think all kids should have respect for adults. I’m not saying they should just accept what the adult says. They shouldn’t just follow authority blindly. However, have respect.

      June 13, 2011 at 2:08 pm

  4. This is one thing that is driving me crazy right now Mel! My daughter does it and was not taught that way. I was not taught that way.

    June 13, 2011 at 2:34 pm

    • That must be very frustrating. Thankfully my kids haven’t tried to push my buttons in that regard just yet!

      June 13, 2011 at 2:48 pm

  5. Mom

    I think it has to do with parenting really well mostly. a Child can’t respect if they don’t see it from their parents towards others.

    June 13, 2011 at 2:52 pm

  6. Oh Melanie, I so know how you feel. There are a few kids that just look right at me and refuse to obey! One child even has had the nerve to stick his nose in the air, turn his back on me – and defiantly keep doing what I have asked him not to do. They live by the attitude of “says who?”. And for the most part – I think you are right. They sit by and watch mom or dad not play by the rule in life, so why should they? I hear so many people today make excuses for why certain rules shouldn’t apply to them. They reason that because they deem the rule unfair, or needless – that they don’t have to follow it. And we are reaping what they have sewn. It is a harvest of kids that feel they only need to follow the rules they deem significant. Which basically comes down to, “I’ll do what I want”, or, “I’ll obey you if I feel you are worthy of being obedient to”. Sadly I also feel it comes as a result of our societies distancing themselves from God. If you take out God, the 10 commandments, etc., there is not “authority” as to what is right and what is wrong. You are simply left with “what is right for you is right for you. What is right for me, is right for me. But what is right for you is not necessarily right for me.” I am sorry you too are running into this. It is maddening. Sometimes my kids look on in shock when they see the ways others act. They tell me that if they did that, they would be in big trouble, or say something like, “you’d NEVER let us do that!”. I can only encourage you to keep raising your boys in the way you have. You will make a difference in the world through them. And don’t give up on the other kids you come in contact with – you just might plant a good seed that someone else will come along and water. Hugs my friend.

    June 13, 2011 at 3:33 pm

  7. Aaah – you’re right, there is a difference between respect and obeying. I agree, respect, definitely required at all times!

    June 13, 2011 at 3:47 pm

  8. Elizabeth

    Fantastic post. Too true and also so sad!

    June 14, 2011 at 5:49 am

  9. There’s a little something for you on my blog

    June 14, 2011 at 11:35 am

  10. Interesting post – i taught at a local schoolf for about a month – just 2 days a week and was horrified by the lack of respect there. Sure, most of the kids know me but still i could not tolerate some of the behaviours. Kids are too familiar with adults these days, they treat us almost like peers and its our fault for allowing it. A typical case in point is when i ask my kids to call my friend Mrs So n So or Aunty Whatever and they say – ag no man, let them call me by my name. Kids need respectful boundaries – they dont always have to obey strangers (adults) but they should be have in a respectful manner at all times.

    June 14, 2011 at 12:09 pm

  11. I know when I’m out and about with Kaylin (my AS child) its difficult for people to understand that she doesnt “get” body language cues. I need to get her to look at me and then give her the instruction. You know, sometimes you’re not in the position to do that and people around you don’t know her diagnosis. They just think she’s being disobedient or disrespectful when she’s just riding her own bus in her own little world.

    Its not like I can make her wear a tee shirt that says “I can’t help it I have Aspergers Syndrome!”

    June 14, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    • I understand where you are coming from. I am referring to kids I know well and they are just plain disrespectful. Must be really difficult for you when ppl just judge

      June 14, 2011 at 1:27 pm

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