Super Mom


I’m gonna love you through it

I remember when I went for my mammogram and sonar thereafter. I was waiting in the doctor’s office. Alone. I didn’t have to be alone. My mom badly wanted to go with me but I wanted to face it alone. I remember sending my mom a message “The doctor thinks it is cancer”

I cannot image what she must have thought. She wanted to drive to the doctor’s office but I said that I was fine.

I remember going for the biopsy. Alone. I didn’t want anyone else to worry or go through that.

I went back to the doctor when he got the results. Alone.

Again, not because I had to but because I handle tough situations like that.

I was alone when the doctor said he had bad news. That it was cancer. I was calm. Listened to his thoughts and what we needed to do next.

I walked out of his office and saw my dad in the waiting room. We know that lady who works there and he phoned her to hear what the results were.

All of a sudden I wasn’t alone and I didn’t want to be. My daddy was there.

I’m a proud person and I don’t think that is such a good personality trait to have. I needed to see my dad there.

I have since learned that so many people want to be there. So many people want to love me through this.

Tommie takes time of from work to go to appointments with me. The children go way and beyond. My brothers, sisters (in-law). My friends. People who I hardly knew have fast become close friends. People want to help.

They want to love me through this.

I heard this song and cried. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer about two weeks ago.

I want to love her through this. I understand now how important it is for me to allow others to love me through this.

Mom, I can’t fix this. I can’t make it better. I can’t take it away but I can love you through this.



I recently found this letter from my grandfather while looking for something else.


His handwriting.  His words … and he is no longer here.

I read his letter and my heart ached.  We did phone.  We took him out for breakfast when we passed through Pietersburg on our way to Louis Trichardt.

We did not phone enough.

I read those words and how he mentioned how much a phone call meant.

I did not phone enough.

Maybe I’m older (I definitely not have more time now) but I realize that a call every now and then was not enough.  I should have called more often, with random news even if the phone call was for less than a minute.

I did not phone enough.

He must have been so lonely.  I cannot actually imagine a man spending so much time to write a letter.  He wrote a letter to all the family members.

I did not phone enough.

I try to make up for that mistake by getting the boys to phone their grandfather every Sunday.  (Not my parents because they SEE them every day)  They should phone their grandmother as well come to think of it.

Make those phone calls.  It takes a minute.  Phone while waiting to pick up your child from school or waiting for them to finish sport.  Just phone.  It must make such a difference to them and it is such a small thing for us.

Make that call.

I wish I had phoned more.


This weekend, specifically after the Easter Egg hunt, we were sitting as a family.  All on their phones.

My dad took a photo of this (mmmm which means he was also using his phone) and posted it on Facebook.  Some people were pretty much disgusted that we are a family were all on our phones.


We all just took part in the Easter Egg hunt with the kids.  Spent time capturing their joy on camera. We wrote letters from the Easter bunny.  Took time hiding the eggs. Helped them look for it (and helped them eat some)  We were THERE.  In the moment.

Then we started sharing the photos from our phones.

Here’s the question that I have.  I don’t really see how this is wrong?  Why would people get so upset about us sharing photos that they all love and comment on, yet are upset that we spent time on the phones to share that?

I am very aware of the social problems that phones can bring.  I’m rather strict with the kids with regards to that.  I don’t allow phones while we are at the dinner table / eating out.  We don’t spend time on phones when friends visit.  It doesn’t really affect social interaction when people are visiting.

Yet, there are times (like when we shared photos) that I honestly don’t see the problem with it.

Protected: I miss you

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Story from my childhood


Day nine, tell a story from your childhood

There are obviously many childhood stories to be remembered and told. We would have to start a fire and get ready for a long night. Yet, I have to tell only one.

I clearly remember Sundays at the dam. We would wake up hoping for the wind to blow. We had a catamaran. I loved it when the wind would push it over and we all fell in the water. Or holding on to the pipe in the front and being pulled through the water. Or if the wind would calm down, just swimming next to the catamaran, waiting for the wind to pick up again.

Often my parents would buy a bucket of KFC. A big treat for us.

Wish we took more photos way back then.

So so selfish

*Warning*  If you smoke, be prepared to feel upset about what I’m going to write.

I can write this because this is my reality. Again.  I have 1st hand experience in this and you won’t be able to change my opinion.  I know that this doesn’t happen to other people.  This happens to real people.  So don’t try.


Smokers are selfish. 

Yes, you’ve heard this many times.   

Yes you say it’s your personal decision what you do and what right do we have to tell you what to do.

Of course it’s your decision.  It’s your decision to be selfish.  The fact that it’s your decision, doesn’t make it right.

We all know that smoking causes cancer.  Right?

You know that if you smoke, the people around you can get cancer. 

Babies exposed to second-hand smoke are two times more likely to die of SIDS. Second-hand smoke is associated with 7,500 to 15,000 hospitalizations of infants and toddlers annually, leads to 136 to 212 deaths in children 18 months of age or younger, and contributes to 8,000 to 26,000 new cases of asthma in children each year.

Not selfish?  What is it then.  A gift to those you love?  “Here…let me give you asthma.  Cancer….

So yes, that’s not selfish.  That’s your choice.

You know that you can get lung cancer from it right?  Throat cancer.

Cigarette smoking kills more Americans than AIDS, alcohol, car accidents, homicides, suicides, illegal drugs and fires combined

Yes, your grandmother who smoked her entire life didn’t die of cancer.  I’m really truly happy for her. 

    • Smoking causes many other types of cancer, including cancers of the throat, mouth, nasal cavity, oesophagus, stomach, pancreas, kidney, bladder, and cervix, and acute myeloid leukaemia.
    • People who smoke are up to six times more likely to suffer a heart attack than non-smokers, and the risk increases with the number of cigarettes smoked. Smoking also causes most cases of chronic lung disease

But, this is your choice.  You know that you have a risk of dying and you are willing to take that risk.  So if you ignore the fact that you harm those around you, yes …. this is your choice.

Do you ever think what it would do to your family and friends if you did get cancer?  If they had to watch you die from cancer.  If they were left without a Dad, a husband, a son or daughter?

Yes it’s your choice.


DSC_0066 copy

Saturday the boys had a cricket match in Schweizer Reneke.  It is about 140 km from Klerksdorp and we had to leave at 6:30 am to be on time for the games. 

This would be accepted with much enthusiasm if it were for a different sport.  The sport that is part of the Afrikaner culture.  The sport that gets fathers shouting at the referees excited and proud of their sons.  The sport where parents don’t mind leaving before sunrise on a very cold winter’s morning to drive to another town for a match.

Rugby.  Yes, it gets mothers, fathers, grandparents, uncles almal excited and next to the field. 

Not cricket though.  No, we drove there with most of the children in cars of people their parents hardly know.  They let their kids go to another town, with no support but those of the coaches and their families.

Cricket is sport loved by many but it’s not part of what makes up our culture.  So parents aren’t that keen to get up early.  To drive far. 

DSC_0185 copy 

Does this mean parents only support their children playing rugby because they enjoy the sport?  Not specifically because they are there to support their son?

Could it be?  If that is not the case, then why do we hardly have any parents at cricket matches?  Why do they drop of their children and go to town for the morning?

I believe this is true.  I saw it last year when Quintus was in the school choir.  I don’t think there were more than 2 or 3 parents there when they sang.

It’s sad.  Your child wants your support.  No matter what sport or activity they take part in.