Super Mom

Funny sayings

I don’t want to learn

If there is one child in our family that has the most interesting excuses, it will be Kyla.

A recent example would be her maths marks.  I told her many times that she should be learning. I could see that she wasn’t giving it her all, if any.  She definitely didn’t try more than I would try to run a 100m sprint.

You know how it is.  You get tired of asking and at some stage decide they must man (girl) up and take responsibility.

Well….she did in a very weird and her own way.

She did badly!  Not at all near the normal good marks she gets. When I asked her why she said: “I decided not to learn because I didn’t want to be cross all the time and upset everyone.  So I decided to just not learn”

I could only laugh.


Rust

Zander was having a great time with his car on the beach.  I told him not to put it in the water though because eventually it would rust.  So he went back to playing with it on the beach.

Playing with his car on the beach

The boys decided to take a swim in the shallow water and just after getting in, Zander ran back out “Will we rust as well?” he asked.  When I said no, he just smiled and ran back.  Totally serious question.

So cute


Random

Some random things Zander said recently:

He was looking at Jason’s back and commented “ Hey, Boetie Jason!  I can see your dinosaur bones!”

This morning, my mom was putting sunblock on his face before school and she mentioned that she got some on his hair by accident.  He said:  “It’s okay, Ouma.  Now I won’t get red hair”

Jason is completely enjoying his rugby this year.  Previous years he did enjoy it but it seems as though this year, he really really wants to play.  He wasn’t chosen for the A team and I thought that would bother him.  But not at all.  He is getting to play the position he wants in the B team and he is more than happy with that.

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Tommie helped the B Team on Tuesday and Jason appreciated it so much.  We tend to forget how much our children value our involvement (and not just being next to the field)

Tonight before bedtime, he came to thank us (with tears in his eyes) that we always go to his rugby matches.  As if we would ever miss one!


What’s in a size?

Last week I NEEDED to go went shopping for clothes.  Shopping is not my favourite activity at all.

Jason went with and I wanted it done as quickly as possible.  As I looked at some shirts, he wanted to know what size I wear?  You know, to be helpful and find some for me.

Now you know that unless you wear an 8, you don’t really want anyone to know what size you wear.  Telling your 8 year old though, is obviously not a problem.

Mmm…until he proceeded to walk away from me and then in a too loud voice tell me about all the shirts he has found in my size.

“Mom …. this is a size x!! Do you like it?”


Kids say the darndest things

I woke up with Zander standing next to my bed.  I asked him what was wrong and he said he’s got a sickness.  Okay…what kind of sickness do you have Zander?  The sickness of the dark.  Siestog.  I let him get into the bed.  Apparently that’s the best medicine.

Jason, while looking at some photos of him when he was in pre-school:
“Man I miss my younger days!” lol and you are so old now my child.

Zander, after I helped him blow his nose and he was all clean and proper. I ‘stole’ a kiss and he said: “No!!! You just kissed my snot. I don’t like it when you kiss my snot.  Eeeuuuwwww like I would!

Jason is going to the hospital tomorrow morning to have his tooth fixed.  He broke it about a month ago, and I never even knew!  He is extremely scared of waking up while they are still busy.  Thankfully the dentist is also one of his best friend’s dad, so it will not be that scary.

  • Our medical aid doesn’t pay for it though, so dry bread and water for us for the next couple of months!  Thankfully my FIL is helping out with some of it.
  • Talking about the in-laws, I miss Quintus like crazy.  Setting up camp with my FIL proved to be very stressful but now that it’s done, I’m sure he will start enjoying himself.
  • My phone broke.  Now if you know me really well, you will know that I can’t go without my phone.  We don’t have money to fix it now though, so I’m feeling as though I have lost a limb.
  • My computer at work also decided that I don’t need to use any USB connections.  This is extremely frustrating.  No printing and I can’t even read my sms’s using the computer (like I can when it’s connected)
  • We had a burst pipe over the weekend. Lovely water coming through the ceiling.  We have a plumber there today to replace pipes.  More money.
  • Bella (our Pikenese) now wears her hair in a pony tail.  Some times two, some days just one.  Her fringe is WAY long and in her food all the time.  So putting it up, is best. Zander came out one morning, looked at her and said she looks like Kyla (with the two ponies)  They still miss her.
  • I’m hugely thankful it is school holidays and take full advantage of it.  I sleep late every  morning.  I don’t get to work before 9:30 am.  The boys are loving the calm, later mornings and I’m sure my mom enjoys the silence that lasts just a little longer.

Kids

People always say kids can be so cruel but kids can be so very sensitive too.  Like Wenchy’s Victoria on Saturday.

It was Wenchy’s birthday and we were celebrating at Mama Tembos.  A lot of fun.  At one stage I was standing outside with Tommie and her kids.  I stood next to this wooden African woman.

Mama tembo

 

Victoria looked at this and said that the woman looks like me…?  Kinda perplexed at this, I said she doesn’t really … she’s taller than me.  That’s true she says.  She’s also thinner than me, I say.  She walks up to me, pats me on my back and says with compassion:

“That’s okay.  That really doesn’t matter”

 

 

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Mama Tembo is pretty unique in that it is all African.  Drinking out of a glass bottle is not unheard of.

 

 

 

 

 

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When you get your meal, you also get this bowl.  Knifes and forks, sauces and a toilet roll.

 

 

Liam, Wenchy’s son, walks up to me all excited.  “Did you see we get free toilet paper!”  “Yes, I said … that’s cool hey” (joining him in his childlike joy).  Tiny silence and then in a soft voice “I think it’s for afterwards” 

Got to love kids!


Spoiled but caring

This morning I had to use our office manager secretary’s car, since my folks had mine.  I had to pick up Zander and have my toenails done.

Whilst the beautician didn’t what car I arrived in, Zander seemed to mind what car he left in.  He took one look at her car and said he didn’t want to get into Linda’s car.   He wants my car.  You know how 3 year olds can decide to not see reason and it took me a while to convince him that it is either walk home or ride home in that car.

I open the door for him to get in and he looks at the seats and say they are broken.  Broken?  The seat covers have seen better days and he has decided that it’s broken.  Can not sit on broken seats.  Again, I convince him that walking is worse and we leave with me thinking just how spoiled my kids are!

He is quite for a while and then says “I will buy her new ones”

AAhhh spoiled maybe but sweet and caring definitely.


Finally and not so

It seems that finally there might be an end to my laptop insurance claim.  Yes, I’m still waiting for them to pay me out.  First they wanted me to replace my laptop at a specific place and I told them there was no way in hell that they would force me to buy one from a specific place.  I will not be forced to support companies I don’t like, just so that they can get a kick-back.  So after many unpleasant words exhanged and a zillion phone calls, they have finally agreed to pay the money out to me.  Now when this will happen I do not know but I hopefully I will finally get it replaced tomorrow. 

I think I have picked up  at least 20 kg since my folks bought the shop.  Every night we have a chocolate here or some koeksisters there or biscuits ….  I blame my parents lol  My ever growing hips blames them too.  I mean how do I say no when every single sweet thing screams out my name.  Begging me eat and enjoy!?

Oh and you gotta love Jason.  He asked me if all people can make food.  So I said yes.  Sometimes men cook as well.  She he says “Oh men can?  So men and people can” lol

 


Mad

This afternoon we had a typical thunderstorm.  LOVE a bit of a thunderstorm.  Impressive thunder, one on top of the other.  Sounding as though the one tries to be louder than the other almost like my boys on most days.  The lightning that can outdo most disco lights.

We were sitting in the study doing homework (I really think there is a good chance of me passing Grade 2 with good marks) when there was a particularly loud clap of thunder.

Quintus turns to me in all seriousness:

“My word.  I wonder who God is angry with”


Why men don’t write advice columns

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.
I walked back home to get my husband’s help. When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her.
I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years.
When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He’d carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he’d been having an affair for the past six months.
I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don’t feel I can get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?

Sincerely,
Mrs.. Sheila Usk

Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
I hope this helps.

Walter


Boy talk

This is the conversation that took place between two brothers after I tried to get Quintus to stop being monkeying around and do his homework.

Quintus stop being full of shit and do your homework. 

Yes don’t talk shit.  When you talk it you will be full of it.

No.  You can just go to the toilet and you won’t be full of it no more.

NOT TRUE.  Pappa goes to the toilet and he is still full of shit!


Married again

I can sometimes have such interesting conversation with our clients. Especially the older clients.

Today I had an old man here.  One of the real Afrikaans type.  Very serious.  His wife died about 2 years ago and I needed to know if he was the only member on his medical aid.  At first he said yes but then:

Him:  “No wait.  I got married in December.  So now I have my wife on the medical aid too”

Me:  “I’m so glad you got married again.  It’s much better to have someone to spend your days with”

Him (completely serious):  “Yes….. and I needed someone to keep the house clean”

 hahahha  Getting married just so that she can keep the house clean!  Has he never heard about a maid lol  I wonder what his kids thought when he told them he got married because he needed someone to keep the house clean!


4 hours for 2

I load my many children into the car.  Stocked with water and cold drinks, snacks, the works.  The kids behave well.  Music is great.  I don’t get lost (thanks for the GPS dad!)  All is well. 

Once at Wenchy’s house we load all of our combined many children into my mom-wagon so that we can have lunch at a tea garden. Then nothing.  My car won’t start.  Niks.  Nada.  O.k.a.y.  I phoned for help…no-one knows what’s up (obviously lol it’s not like they were there to look at the car in any way)  Tommie organizes for Toyota to come out and check it out but that will take at least an hour.

Hot dogs for everyone – no more tea garden.  After a while the technician arrives and …. yes … he just jump starts my car lol  Flat battery.  I had to leave there and then as I couldn’t take the chance to switch the ignition off again. 

So today we drove 4 hours for a 2 hour visit.  As we left I said (to myself) that I couldn’t believe I had to leave already.  Quintus pipes up from the back “says the one who told us to leave” lol 


Bath

Only boys will find this hilarious.  The boys normally bath together and I had put Zander in the bath before the Quintus and Jason got in.  Zander decided that being able to wee in the bath is just the right thing to do and off he went.

Jason saw this and laughed:  “Look at Zander!  He wee’d in the bath.  That’s so awesome!” lol  Yeah…right…pretty awesome – if you say so!

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Running

I miss running.  A lot.  It was my stress relieve.  It felt good to be getting some serious exercise.  It was my time, even though I had my entire family following me.

Then I hurt my back and I haven’t been able to run since.  Yesterday I hurt my back again and once again I look like a question mark while walking.  I feel like crying lots.  Continuously.

I have to share with this  though. I laughed so much.  Question from Jason:

Jason – “How do you buy a bed?”

Me – “Huh?  How do you buy a bed?  You walk into the shop, you choose the one you want and you pay for it”

Jason – “But how do you you get it into the shopping trolley?!”


Will you really?

Since I got nothing for Mother’s Day (although I should probably not say that since I did get a Mother’s day card with just the names at the bottom) I bought myself a book to read when we were in the local supermarket.

I had three books in my hand and couldn’t decide:

  • Steven King – Cell
  • Dean Koontz – The Husband
  • Kathy Lette – How to kill your husband (and other household hints)

I decided on the last one after asking Tommie his opinion that really didn’t matter since I had already made up my mind.  The boys were obviously within hearing distance since I keep them on imaginary leads close to me.

Later this afternoon as I was lying on the bed all by myself doing nothing for mothers day, Quintus came into my room and with a worried look and staring at the book he asked:

You won’t really do that will you?

hehe  I suppose not.  Not today any way.  The things these kids worry about 😉


The minds of little people

Quintus became best friends with M when they were just 2 years old.  I mean best friends.  They slept over at each other’s homes from just about that age.  Yes shocking I know.  However his mom and I have known each other from primary school age. 

They were in pre-school together and even though they are in different primary schools now, they just pick up their friendship where they left off when they see each other again.  Some times it’s month before they see each other again.

Anyway they have been playing together for the past two days after not seeing each other for probably about 2 months.   M is now the minus a few teeth.  Well not a few, more like five. 

This morning Quintus and I were talking about the two of them, when Quintus asked me:

“Mom, did you see how many teeth M has lost?”

“Yes, I have actually.  He is just waiting for his grown-up teeth to come through”

“He must have gotten a lot of money from the tooth mouse. Have you seen the smart cars they drive!?”

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With Quintus playing over at friend’s this past week, Jason got pretty sad that he couldn’t play at friend’s houses.  It’s not that he is not allowed to but just that all his friends are on vacation.  When I phoned the last friend that I could think of, I had to break the news that there is no-one at home.  He got very upset.  Not just upset because he couldn’t go play but upset with me.  I tried to explain to him that I don’t mind him playing at all.  That it is his friends that aren’t home.  He wouldn’t budge though and seemed to be upset with me.

Later on when we dropped Quintus off at M’s house Jason asked why he couldn’t stay.  I tried to explain that it’s Quintus’ friend and it would be unfair if he played there too.  He then said “but you are the boss.  You can tell them that I can play there.  Just like you could have told my friends that they should be home so that I could play with them too”  lol  He was upset because I’M THE BOSS!!! I have the power to organize other people’s lives in his opinion.

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Again in the car Jason was explaining how he wants to build a house on the farm (my in-law’s farm) 

or…maybe I should buy a farm at the sea.  That way all of you can go live with me.  Oh and Mom?  I’ll also buy a computer and coffee”

Think I spend too much time in front of my computer, drinking coffee?


As heard today

I’m really lucky to have boys that mainly get along really well.  Not Brady bunch well but as good as one can expect.  This you can see from this comment made by Jason while drawing with Quintus in my office “It’s nice to sit with my superhero brother”

Jason declared that heaven is so high up ’cause if it was lower we would touch it and heaven would break.

Quintus with a good come back on the saying “money doesn’t grow on trees” – “no it doesn’t Mom *rolling his eyes* it comes out of a machine”

The brothers (again drawing in my office) using each other’s favourite colour  because “I love you”