Super Mom

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Why you should stop telling cancer patients to be positive.

This has been bothering me for a while.  Telling a cancer patient to be positive.  Be positive that you will get violently sick?  Be positive that you will be constantly nauseous?  Be positive that you will have a headache that no pill helps for?  Be positive that you lose feeling in your fingers, which makes working difficult?  Be positive that you will be so tired that waking up and staying awake feels impossible? Be positive that you have had surgery that leaves you feeling less than a woman? Be positive that you will lose your hair?  That same hair that YOU spend so much time on washing and styling? The hair that makes you want to hide at home when you have a bad hair day?

All that must make a cancer patient feel positive?

Do you sit back and think how much pressure you put on a cancer patient when you say that?  It makes it difficult for a cancer patient to admit that she is having a tough day.  That she is not feeling so good.  It makes that patient feel she has to smile so that no-one tells her to be positive.  Even healthy people feel down some days right?

I can tell you that I appreciate it when someone says I am so positive.  I am.  I mostly feel this is a page in my book and not even worthy of a chapter.  I have days where I feel it is a separate book though.  I story on it’s own.  Where I’m strong, fearful, thankful, angry … all at the same time.

This “be positive” thing didn’t bother me so much when it was just me.  Now it’s my mom though.  My mom having to go through what I’m going through.  My mom having to get chemo to fight a horrible disease.  Not flu.  Not bronchitis or a broken leg.  Cancer.  Cancer where you feel so darn well but then end up making yourself sick by going for chemo.  No, I don’t expect her to feel positive.

Yes, I get where everyone is coming from.  It is always from a good and caring place. Should I see my mom lying in bed for days on end because emotionally she can’t cope, I will get a professional person to help her.  I would not tell her to feel positive.  I would tell her to be strong.

Yes, being positive makes it easier to cope.  It does!  If I had to sit in a corner and cry it would kill my kids.  It would hurt my parents and Tommie.  It would not be good for our family.  It would make working difficult and generally life would suck.  I know this is why people tell you to be positive.  I get that.  Please don’t think that I’m not thankful.  Again, I know it comes from such a good and caring place.

Just sit back and think how it affects a cancer patient though.  Someone who normally does feel positive and thankful for what they have and how “healthy” they actually are.  It makes it so difficult to admit that some days are just really crap.  That emotionally it feels too much.

I am thankful.  Hugely thankful.  It could have been so much worse.

Today though, today feels crap.  I didn’t want my mom to go through this.  I’m proud of her for choosing to give herself every possible chance there is to fight this.  She is one strong woman.  It’s okay when she’s not as well.

I’m not a hero.  Just a normal person, fighting for my life.

#fuckcancer #bestrong

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Letter

I recently found this letter from my grandfather while looking for something else.

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His handwriting.  His words … and he is no longer here.

I read his letter and my heart ached.  We did phone.  We took him out for breakfast when we passed through Pietersburg on our way to Louis Trichardt.

We did not phone enough.

I read those words and how he mentioned how much a phone call meant.

I did not phone enough.

Maybe I’m older (I definitely not have more time now) but I realize that a call every now and then was not enough.  I should have called more often, with random news even if the phone call was for less than a minute.

I did not phone enough.

He must have been so lonely.  I cannot actually imagine a man spending so much time to write a letter.  He wrote a letter to all the family members.

I did not phone enough.

I try to make up for that mistake by getting the boys to phone their grandfather every Sunday.  (Not my parents because they SEE them every day)  They should phone their grandmother as well come to think of it.

Make those phone calls.  It takes a minute.  Phone while waiting to pick up your child from school or waiting for them to finish sport.  Just phone.  It must make such a difference to them and it is such a small thing for us.

Make that call.

I wish I had phoned more.


Traffic offences

Look, I’m not a perfect driver.  I never go over the speed limit.

I am thankful that I don’t live in a big city though.  I have a total of 3,3 km to drive from my house, drop the kids at school and to work.

Not a long way to go.  Still I get upset most mornings.  I even take the quieter roads, just to miss those who apparently got their licenses illegally.  I’m not just talking taxi-drivers though.  Actually not at all.  We all know they don’t obey the traffic rules.

I’m talking about those who think that stop streets are either not for them or only to be seen as yield sign.

People who has never learned to use their indicator.  Maybe the new cars don’t come out with one fitted or only once you have paid off your car you are allowed to get one?  I’m assuming since it’s normally those who don’t use them.

I wonder why the same people stop at red lights?  What’s the difference?  Or can’t they read?  Don’t understand “S.T.O.P.” but can understand a red light?

Who knows but thank goodness I don’t live in a big city.  It would not be good for my blood pressure.

Not saying these drivers are bad people, since mostly obviously they are not.  It’s just my pet peeve I suppose.

So if you see me like this, sorry.  Maybe just stop or use your indicator and I will smile and wave.

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Three sons and one daughter

I have three sons and one daughter and every time I see something like this, my blood boils.

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“I’m not allowed to date ever”

Or photos of a Dad standing with his gun as his daughter gets ready for her date.

How uninformed those parents are.  Trust me when I say that the boys aren’t always the problem.  Most often the girls want more than the boys are willing to give.  Especially when the boys are raised well.

Girls tend to break hearts just as easily as boys.

If it’s about sex or sexuality well then here is a wake-up call to dad’s of girls.  They are just as willing or wanting as boys.  When they are in younger grades, then more so.

Don’t threaten my son.  At all.  He has been raised to treat a girl / woman with the utmost respect.  I hope your daughter was raised to do the same.

Same with my daughter.  She will respect herself and men as long as they do the same.  Put down your gun and raise your child.  Teach her to stand up for herself and to choose a man that will protect her and not hurt her.


Proteas – not the flower

Cricket has never been the same since Hansie.  Don’t get me wrong.  I loved Hansie.  I still think he is one of the very best captains we ever had.  It’s just that now I always wonder.  Was the game lost or sold.

I was going to take Jason to watch the Protea / New Zealand game two weeks ago but very unplanned went away for the week.  I asked their back-up Dad to take him and his friend. It was hot.  It was a long day.

And we lost spectacularly.

In front of a fully packed stadium, the Proteas could not have played worse.

How do you win one, lose the next horribly and then win the third again.

How?

That is okay though.  I don’t mind spending close to a thousand rand on tickets and then watch them loose.  I don’t.

I do mind more though if they don’t give signatures or a second of the time to the children who are the reason we spend thousands of rands to watch the games.

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New Zealand actually spoke to the kids.  Gave out signatures.  Nice people that.

Proteas?  Maybe half of them were half proper.  They told the kids to wait until after the game, when they will come out again to talk them and give signatures.

Oh yes.  They did.  Not more than five of them.

I want to bring one thing under the attention of all professional sports players.  You earn as much money as you do because you have fans that are willing to spend money to watch you play.  Without those fans you will just be a club player, doing it for fun.

Don’t fool yourself. You are not above human. Take the time.  Thank the kids for coming out and supporting their heros.

Dale, you rock btw.


Blaming the wrong people

Is it a South African thing?  The need to blame someone.  Anyone.

My dad posted a photo of a storm drain. All the slabs are broken.  My dad has reported this to the municipality many times and posted a photo showing that it is still broken.

Oh soul.  Some guy jumped up and down and basically told my dad that he is the idiot who should have fixed it and not complained about it.  HUH?

Why on earth put the blame on my dad?  It is not his responsibility.  It is however his right to complain or make people aware of the fact.  He pays his tax.

Said guy does not agree.  He says that one should just do it yourself.  No he demands that one does.

Really?  Who will take responsibility if something goes wrong after it was fixed by someone other than the municipality?

Anyway, it’s not just this situation.  It just got me thinking again.  People tend to get upset with the wrong people.

When people feel that they will get nowhere with blaming the cause of the problem, they want to blame someone else.

Just weird.


Should they or not

That is the current question many parents have been thinking about. The department of education is considering giving condoms to all children older than 10.
TEN!!!

Now look,  I understand where they are coming from.  I get why they want to do this but I am not impressed with the idea.

I have actually not read the detail but from what I can gather,  they want to give condoms to all the kids.

Why not just make it available?  Why give them something that will spark their interest to use it.  It’s like giving a child drugs to explain what it does.

Stupid idea.   It is my responsibility  to talk to my kids about sex. My boys know all about condoms. (Except Zander who is still too young)  They don’t  need to get one to “play” with.

When I get a sachet of coffee for free,  I drink coffee.  What do they think the kids will do with condoms?


Road rage

Just this morning I thought about road rage in our country. Why do we all have it at some stage? 

I know that I have to constantly check myself. No risk of me pulling out a gun or ramming someone off the side of the road but I do get upset. People who don’t stop at stop signs. People who don’t use their indicators (brilliant little stick connected to a light. Great accessory on all cars). Taxi passing on a yellow line while people in front lets them back into the line. Okay, many more. You get my drift. I get upset. I just constantly tell myself to let it go. Doesn’t always work.
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Then I read about yet another person being shot in a road rage incident today. Why? Is it really bad driving that gets us that worked up? Why would you take someone’s life just like that? 

In my opinion it has nothing to do with bad driving. The asshole bad driving is just the final straw.  We (South Africans) have cropped up anger. We live in constant stress. Not just at work. Stress at home. Our safe place that just isn’t that safe anymore. We are close to snapping at any moment. Not always. Not everyday but often. Put two people together at the wrong time and place and boom. Road rage.

It is so sad that lives are taken because of an emotion people can’t cope with.


Indian Myna and Tonie Meiring

This is an amazing story that should have been told a long long time ago.  Now it is with sadness that I do it.

Someone found a little Indian Myna in the street.  Probably hit by a car (or so it seems).  He/she was still very much just a baby.  This person took the little bird under their wing, so to speak.

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In time though the little one flew over the wall and just “adopted” my mom.  He was free to go where he wanted but preferred to sleep inside the house.  Eventually he made a little nest for himself in my mom’s bathroom.

The relationship was so special.  He would come and go as he wishes but once every hour of half an hour, he would fly through the house, looking for my mom.  He would sit on her arm like a bracelet.  She could move her arm and he would just hold on.  His food was here, he knew when my mom called Sophie to give him bread.  He would fly straight to the kitchen. 

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My mom loved him and the feeling seemed very much mutual.  My mom is such a caring person and he was a part of the family for almost a year.  He didn’t like me though and would constantly tell me to “stop it”.

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Unfortunately three weeks ago, he went missing.  He was still in my mom’s house at 4 pm and just never came back.  We don’t know if he was killed or if he is now being kept in a cage. 

My mom would be okay with him being dead, since he really did have the perfect life for a year.  However if he has to be in a cage, it would kill her (and him)  He is used to being free and was petrified of even just being closed in the room.

My mom put flyers up and even advertised in the newspaper.  We had some people offering their Indian Myna’s for her to take care of.  People worried about Myna’s being kept in cages.

However, my mom got one sms yesterday from Tonie Meiring that was so upsetting.  He basically told her that they are pests and he hopes that Piet went back to India with his whole family.  That if she had any knowledge of birds, she would now that they kill our own birds.

Well, he just doesn’t get it.  It’s not about the fact that it’s an Indian Myna.  It’s about the fact that the bird that she loves is now missing.  Her knowledge about birds (especially since my dad is involved in bird atlassing) is probably more than his anyway. Still , her ad in the newspaper was not about saving the Myna race but the fact that she was looking for her bird.  Regardless of what type.

I sent him an sms (cause no-one will upset my mother like that) and in the end he call me trash.  Lovely.  For someone who is a DA counsellor that’s pretty sweet. 

No-one calls me trash, Tonie.  I don’t care how involved you are in the community.  You have no regard for someone else’s feeling.  She is already upset, no need for you to make it worse.

I was raised with “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything.”  Maybe you should look into that.


When it is us

I’m involved at our school’s Bible study class on a Wednesday.  Actually not Bible study.  More like praise and worship.

I am often the one they talk to.  I don’t share what they tell me.  It’s private and very personal.  I would never do that.

What I can tell you though, is that we are the reason for most of their pain.  Us.  The parents. 

Sometimes we don’t mean to.  Unfortunately sometimes we do.  Sometimes we hurt without even knowing how much pain we have caused.

Sit back at night and think about your day.  Think if what you said had a negative impact on your child.  I’m not talking about when they don’t like discipline.  When they were told to help at home.

I’m talking about hurting them, most often with things we say.

You will never be good enough.  You will never get a job.  You are just like your dad (when you continually tell them how bad the father is) 

Just think.  If you were human and said hurtful things, just say sorry. 

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Little brats

I wonder if parents intentionally raise their kids to be brats?
Or are they too busy to really see what their kids are doing?
Or don’t they care?
Or do they think once they go to school, the teachers will teach them manners?

Good manners are one thing. Being a caring person is another. That takes time. Effort. It’s a continues daily lesson.

I drove past a little boy, who was sitting on the back of his Mom’s bakkie. I specifically looked to see if he was okay, when I saw how he threw bottles and other things at an old dog. Like really old. Grey around the mouth.

What the hell? My kids would never ever do that. At no age would they ever have. What goes wrong in a child’s life that he does that? He can only learn that from his parents.
I shudder to think how they handle their own dogs.

Don’t raise little brats. They can still hide behind their parents. Then they grow up and they are podex’s and then it is too late.


Hunters

I have never liked hunting.  Ever. 

Even before I became a vegetarian, I was very much against it.  I didn’t go all “tree-hug” about it but those close to me knew exactly how I felt.

Lately though, with this blond chick (Kendall Jones) thinking she is doing Africa a favour by killing our big five and then this kid (Carissa) who is apparently doing research by hunting, it has been on the tip of my tongue to say something.

Now is the time to say that something.

Are there some valid reasons for hunting?  Yes. Definitely (Didn’t think I’d say that, right?)

At times of over-population in a restricted area (human’s fault) I can see that hunting is necessary.

Where you have sick or injured animals, I can see that hunting is necessary.

So yes, there are times when hunting is necessary.

However, if you take of photo of yourself standing over a dead animal, all of the reasons excuses are null and void. 

Then you hunted for the thrill, for the trophy.  That was the main reason.  That was the objective.  The rest just excuses.

You are not a hero for hunting down an animal.  We have technology on our side, they have nothing. 

If you are doing it for a valid, good reason, you won’t feel the need to stand over a dead animal as though you just saved it’s life.  You just did your job.

I don’t stand for a photo with every client that gets money back from SARS with money in my hand.  It’s not something special I’ve done.  It’s my job to make sure they get a refund if it is due to them.

Same with hunters. 

Don’t tell me you hunt for the biltong. You can get that from butchery. 

You hunt for the thrill.  For the photo.  For the trophy.


So we protested

I couldn’t believe what I read.  I couldn’t believe what I saw.

Here, in our town, people (if you can call someone who does that a human being) cut of dogs heads (while still alive) and cooked their meat to eat or sell.

Here!  In my town! 

I was sick to my stomach.

We were asked to protest at their bail hearing.  So many people said that they would be there.  Well, I wonder where those people were when we were outside the court for hours in the cold.  It is SO easy to be a Facebook animal lover.  Not so much when push comes to shove. Then so many people have excuses.

A handful of us though stood there, protesting.  Got the cars to hoot.  Shared our thoughts and feelings.

I picked up the boys and took them to protest with us.  Children who care.  What a nation we can build if all of them did.

If you are in town, well come protest at their hearing 23 July.  Might be even colder then but someone has to take a stand.

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The little red man

I overheard a conversation earlier this morning. 

Someone A was very upset.  Someone B handled it very well.

See, there’s a year end party.  And Santa was invited.

A doesn’t want his / her child to believe in Santa.  Feels that as a Christian it’s wrong.  That people buy into the commercialism and that the whole meaning of Christmas and Jesus’ birth gets lost along the way. 

From my viewpoint and what I heard, it basically sounds as though a child cannot believe in Santa and Jesus. 

He / she feels that Santa shouldn’t be forced upon their child. 

Of course that doesn’t have to happen.  They have a right to raise their child as they feel fit.  However, I also have the right to raise my boys the way I feel fit. 

My kids (okay only Zander) believes in Santa.  Not because they believe he is the creator of our amazing universe but because he is the guy in the red suite that brings amazing presents every year. 

Not because he was born and forever changed the lives of those who believed.  No, because he is the guy who makes a good and naughty list.

Santa and Christ …. they happen to be in the same season but to me they have nothing to do with each other.

As a Christian, my kids know what Christmas is all about.  They know it’s about the birth of Jesus.  They know that he was born to be our Saviour.  We sing him a small happy birthday song on Christmas morning even.

Santa on the other hand….he is the fantasy guy.  Isn’t it true that all educators tell you constantly how important it is for kids to have fantasy play?  For them to be able to play pretend?

He is the pretend guy. 

Do they know he is only pretend?  Do they know he isn’t the reason for the season?  Probably not when they are very young.  I also don’t think they understand that Someone was born to save them.  Someone they can’t see.  It’s beyond their understanding.

One should however, as with everything you teach them, keep on teaching them.

As soon as they can though, as soon as they get the concept, they are also old enough to understand the difference between the two.

My kids love the joyful songs, the pretty lights and dreaming about what Santa would bring. 

My kids love Jesus too. 

Were they upset when they learned Santa doesn’t really exist?  Heck no!  They still play the Santa fantasy lol  They were intelligent enough to know the difference. 

Santa brings them childlike joy.  Like the tooth fairy brings money.  Like easter eggs at Easter.

One should not confuse the two.

Santa can come to my year end party any time Smile  Unlike Jesus who is there all the time.

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Lack of respect

Something that really works on my nerves, is a child that blatantly ignores an adult. 

When I talk to a child, any child, I expect that child to look at me and acknowledge what I say.  If I ask them not to do something (that would be wrong by any standard of society), I expect them to listen.

Maybe it’s because I raise my kids like that.  Maybe it’s because I was raised that way.

Unfortunately I find that this is not the way things are anymore!

To give an example.  I have asked a child to get off from the rugby field (during a rugby match) and she completely looked me in the eye and kept on walking.

I’ve asked children to stop playing with sticks they kept putting into a fire and they would look me in the eye and continue.

I wondered if this was purely a “new generation” thing.  A lack of parental involvement in the kids’ lives.  That they just didn’t notice.

This however is not true.  Isn’t it said that children learn by example?

True.  So so true.

They see their parents skip a stop sign.

Park where they shouldn’t

Exceed the speed limit.

The one that stood out to me last week, was when parents were asked not to stand next to the rugby field while the kids where playing in the quarter-finals.  Over and over again they were asked to move away.  Most didn’t. 

That’s the example.  They stare into the eyes of those who asked.  Those who are applying the league rules and ignore them.

Can we expect differently from the children?

Probably not.


Parents

It was in the news. In magazines. People talked about the night the old age home burnt down.

I felt so sad for them. What a horrible way to die…after living your whole life, surviving so much.
Thankful for those who survived.

Then I read about how they were worried that their kids wouldn’t know where to get hold of them. That they couldn’t contact their children because they had lost their phones in the fire.

Seriously? After a week some children had not contacted their parents? Not tried to find out if they are okay? If they needed something? If they had a place to stay? Seriously!?

How do these children sleep at night? After all our parents do for us as children, can’t we take proper care of them when they are old? Care for them even if they are in an old age home?

It’s just sad. And wrong.

How do these children sleep at night?


What every child should be taught

  • To love
  • To laugh
  • To laugh some more
  • To listen and learn
  • To say please and thank you
  • To have opinions
  • To respect those of others
  • To be honest
  • To be a friend
  • To be yourself

I have always believed in Respect yourself, Respect others and take Responsibility for your own actions.  I like the list above more.


It takes two

Ai Joost.  You  messed up big time ne’.  Almost as big as the big shot you thought yu were.  Shame. 

You know there was a time that I thought I believed you.  Ook maar blind. I jumped from believing your lies, to not to.  I’m sure that’s what Amor did as well.  I do feel sorry for her.

This is not about your lies though.  Or the book you wrote (not sure why?)

This is not about the sex video or the drugs or the whore in the video.  (Who is now a Christian dancing at Teasers, I understand?)

No.  This is about Charmain Weavers.  Regtig Girl.  There’s something not right there.  Now you feel manipulated?  Now you feel used?  Well…you are used.  Second hand sex doll, ne’.  I read and I can’t believe that you actually think people should feel sorry for you.  Do you like the public attention?  It’s been a long time since you’ve been in the public eye.  Anything for attention right? 

Wake-up call.  You are just as wrong as he is.  You have messed up just as much as he has.  You hid behind a anonymous interview with Huisgenoot (ag tog Huisgenoot.  In this latest issue you could just have said out right that you are on her side)  Why?  Did you really think you were doing the right thing?

If you wanted to make things right, not hide the truth or whatever reason you had in mind…did you have to do it in public?  How about an anonymous letter to Amor herself?  Nee Poppie.  You are just as wrong as Joost.  You both messed up.

You are not the high and mighty.  I would be ashamed to admit to this.  I would sure as hell not want to be in Huisgenoot.  Oh btw…I think using the Huisgenoot photo as your profile pic is not proper.   I look at that and can’t see you are Charmaine Weavers.  Just the woman who had sex with Joost.


Just a few more minutes

Do you think about what a difference, just a few more minutes make?  When you spend just a little more time with someone.   When you actually listen to what they say?

I had a client last week.  He was almost an hour early.  When he walked in, I could see that I was in for a long chat.  Normally it makes my heart sink just a tiny bit, since I have so much work and not a lot of time to listen to ingrown toenails and the birth of the first cousin removed on the father’s side that had a cat who had a kitten.

However, he started telling me about his day and I realized how selfish I am.  How just a bit of my time would make such a big difference to this old man.  His day, everyday, consists out of waking up, having breakfast, building a puzzle, lunch, crossword puzzles, dinner and bed. 

Every day.

Alone.

Every day.

Coming for his tax is a huge outing for him! 

I took time to listen to the contraptions he has made.  How he locks his car so that it won’t get stolen.  I tell you if he had to go a bit senile, he would NEVER be able to get into his very own car…or his safe for that matter.

Everyone has a story, Oprah once said.  It’s true.  He was taken away from his mom, when his sister was sexually abused by the gardener.  He was in an orphanage until he was in high school.  Only then did he have contact with his mom.

Everyone has a story.  If only we are willing to stop and listen.


Taxes

I had an interesting argument discussion with a friend last week.  I mentioned how I’m not willing to help clients if they aren’t willing to declare all their income.

He looked at me with a are-you-serious!!?-face.  According to him, most people won’t.  He feels it is not right that one should declare all your hard earned income, pay your taxes and then have some corrupt government idiot steal the money….

Okay, I get where he is coming from.  Our roads are hazardous.  Our hospitals atrocious.  Crime shocking.  It’s true.  If it weren’t for corrupt government employees / departments, our country could be way better.  Maybe we could actually drive on our roads, instead of constantly trying to search for the tar between the pot holes.  Maybe it would be okay to let your child go to a government hospital.  Maybe the police would respond if you phoned.

True.  Totally true.  There is no reason, no excuse.  Our money should be used to better our country.  The country where we live and work.  Where we pay our taxes.

Does this give you the right NOT to pay?  Does the fact that your money may / may not be ‘stolen’, give you the right to withhold the tax?

No sorry.  I do not think so.

If you don’t pay your taxes, then you don’t have the right to demand better service.  If you don’t pay your taxes, don’t complain.  If you don’t pay your tax, don’t even vote.

For that matter, if you don’t pay your taxes, you are just as bad, if not worse than the government employee who steals it.  You are stealing.  You are stealing money that should be paid over to SARS. 

I’m sorry.  You can try to sugar-coat it as much as you want.  It can never be right not to declare all your income.


Paparazzi

Tommie always says that he won’t get involved when my brother and I get into an argument because neither of us will step down.  We might pretend to see where the other one is coming from but still neither of us will accept that the other is right.  This purely based on our own opinions.  Very opinionated we are.

The last time we had an discussion argument that was sparked by Britney Spears.  I said that it’s sad that she is hounded by the paparazzi the way she is.  That she has no privacy and doesn’t even have the right to break down in private.

My brother was of the opinion that she is a public figure and became that much when she attempted decided to become famous.  He says that she earns her money from the public and often uses the paparazzi to ‘advertise’ herself.

Yes, maybe.  That’s true.  Yes paparazzi might have had a big part in her becoming famous and rich.  Yes, she is a public figure.  Does it make her public property?  No. 

It’s her job to go to functions.  Perform.  Record CD’s.  Like it’s my job to be an Accountant.  For a doctor to be a medical professional.  Does it give the public the right to bother a doctor when he is out in public.  To ask him about their ingrown toenail?  For the public to bother me to complete their tax returns while I’m out having dinner?

NO.  Cause that’s my job.  Not my entire life.

As being a public figure is her’s.  Again.  She’s not public property.


Hunting

I cannot like hunting.  You cannot convince me in ANY way that hunting is a ‘sport’.  Hunting can be a professional job.  Yes.  I understand that.  Some times due to humans interference and putting animals in camps animal numbers need to be reduced.  Don’t see why the average pen pusher should see himself as a hunter once a year and go do this.  There’s professional hunters who can do that.  It’s like someone doing his own income tax return once and saying he’s a tax consultant. 

Yesterday a business man (note – not a hunter) was ‘attacked’ as the newspapers says by a leopard.  Now let’s put this into perspective.  The leopard had been killing some farm animals and clearly this is a problem.  The farmer and his friend decided to go looking for this leopard and kill it.  They found it, shot it and walked up to the leopard.  As they got close enough the leopard jumped up and attacked them.  The first shot didn’t kill it.  They shot again and still he was not dead.  He did do some serious harm to both of them before he died though.

Do I feel sorry for them?  No.  Again, they aren’t hunters.  Get a professional hunter.  Just cause you ride your car at ridiculous speeds, it doesn’t make you a Formula 1 racer. You are also not a professional hunter because you own a gun.


A whore in the bedroom

Isn’t that how the saying goes?

Men want the woman they marry to be a chef in the kitchen, a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom.

WTG on putting stress on a woman.  Throw in the perfect mom, good salary earner, being thin and we are headed straight to Prozac. 

It’s no wonder so many women feel as though they are just not coping.  Look at that.  When must we make time for ourselves?  When we go grocery shopping alone?  Gym to be thin for the husband and the rest of the judging world?   The 2.3 minutes we get to bath alone before someone forgets that closed doors are meant for privacy?

I wonder if men even realizes this?  I wonder if they know how much they expect of us?


I love you

People often end a phone call with “I love you”.   Not “Good bye”  But “Good bye.  I love you”

Now while that is really nice and at least the other person does know that you love him, I personally don’t like it.  Unless you meanit.  I don’t want it said because you are accustomed to do so.  I want you to say it when you mean it.

I also don’t want to feel obligated to answer with “I love you”.  Why not just “thank you” and then say “I love you” when you really mean it?

I tell my boys that I love them every day.  I feel it is very important for people to hear that often.  I don’t say it when I drop them off at school though, as a part of the greeting.  “Enjoy your day.  I love you!”.  I think it looses it’s meaning.  The real depth of the meaning.

I want my boys (and those I love) to know that when I say it, it comes from my heart.  That I thought about saying it and not just saying it because.

Yes, say it often but mean it. Every time.  Think about it when you say it.  Don’t let it become part of a greeting and loose it’s impact and meaning.