Super Mom

In-laws

Letter

I recently found this letter from my grandfather while looking for something else.

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His handwriting.  His words … and he is no longer here.

I read his letter and my heart ached.  We did phone.  We took him out for breakfast when we passed through Pietersburg on our way to Louis Trichardt.

We did not phone enough.

I read those words and how he mentioned how much a phone call meant.

I did not phone enough.

Maybe I’m older (I definitely not have more time now) but I realize that a call every now and then was not enough.  I should have called more often, with random news even if the phone call was for less than a minute.

I did not phone enough.

He must have been so lonely.  I cannot actually imagine a man spending so much time to write a letter.  He wrote a letter to all the family members.

I did not phone enough.

I try to make up for that mistake by getting the boys to phone their grandfather every Sunday.  (Not my parents because they SEE them every day)  They should phone their grandmother as well come to think of it.

Make those phone calls.  It takes a minute.  Phone while waiting to pick up your child from school or waiting for them to finish sport.  Just phone.  It must make such a difference to them and it is such a small thing for us.

Make that call.

I wish I had phoned more.

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No meat

I married into a family of meat eaters. My husband hunts (which I hate)
Braai is their favourite food, past time and culture.

This year I stopped eating meat. Something I have wanted to do for many years. I have only one regret and that is that I have not done so sooner.

However, I have worried about visiting the in-laws. My father-in-law cannot understand that someone doesn’t eat meat. He has given little Zander a hard time, even though Zander will eat mince but not other meat. I knew he would not take the news well and thought that he would make every meal difficult for me.

How wrong I was. Tommie informed them beforehand. My mother-in-law has gone out of her way to make food for me. She has gone shopping and searching for stuff for me to eat (and I did not expect her to at all) My father-in-law has not mentioned it once.

I appreciate it so much.

Probably more than they know.


Hunting

My father-in-law hunts. Always has. Always will.

I hate hunting. Always have. Always will.

Quintus could hardly walk when we had our first fight about it. He wanted to take Quintus on a hunting trip.
Lets see….. Guns…. Alcohol…. Hunting at night…..HECK NO!!

I have always said I would be very disappointed if my kids decide to hunt but that they will not ever go with if they arent old enough to get a hunting license. I understand that at some stage there will be loads of pressure from the in-laws side to go hunting.

I do think there was a small victory there this holiday though. While driving through a nature reserve on our way to Die Hel, we saw two beautiful Gemsbok. My father-in-law said to the boys that we could have so easily shot them if they had guns with them. Jason looked at him and asked “why on earth would we want to kill them? No thank you. We don’t do that”

Later we were talking about Quintus’s car that my father-in-law wants to take took Stilbaai until Quintus is old enough to get it. Jason said that would like to get the F250. My father-in-law said that he would like Ockie to take the bakkie, since he is the only one that hunts.

Totally agree. He should get the bakkie 😉


Rough week

I’m so glad it’s weekend.  It’s been a tough week…actually starting last Saturday with me having to take Jason to ER due to a bad ear infection. 

I worked all of Sunday, since there was a big dead-line looming.  As with any deadline – there’s loads of added stress.

Monday I had a small fall-out with my father-in-law, that ended with him shouting at me.  I don’t like people shouting at me.  He apologised to Tommie the next day but not to me.  Since he shouted at me, I expected him to apologise to me.  Anyway ….

Then Quintus got sick.  He didn’t want to go to school but is writing tests and I felt he needed to be there.  Getting him up and ready, was no fun.

Every morning this week, we ended up doing some or other school project that was only remembered at 6:30 am.

Zander got sick…as in high fever sick.  Not lekker at all.  He is still sick.  Now I have three children on antibiotics.  At least one of the three is feeling better now.

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Work was hectic and still is hectic and will be until December some time.  I should be used to it by now but it seems to hit me unexpectedly every tax season.

Last night Quintus and I stayed up late to study and we were up early this morning again.  I think he must be so tired.  I hope he doesn’t go to bed too late tonight.  (He is sleeping over at a friend, since they went to a church thing together tonight)

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Tomorrow Jason has his first cricket match of the season (did I mention I’m cricket coach as well!?)  I’m hoping that it will be fun and I am so thankful to have my dad help out as well. 


Stressed

I woke up with a huge headache this morning.  The type where your hair hurts and light hurts.  It also felt like someone continuously pushed a screwdriver into my ear (but remember there is nothing wrong with it)

I took pain meds before breakfast and now I’m nauseous too.

I could though be nauseous and stressed because tomorrow my eldest is going away with the in-laws for a week.  I suppose many kids have gone away with their in-law grandparents but Quintus have never slept there more than three times (I think).

Why?  They are extremely different to me.  Their idea of safety is totally different  from mine.  I would ask that the kids where safety belts and then I will hear that they told the kids it’s not necessary (although my kids still wore them).  My MIL left the kids alone at the mall and couldn’t understand why it’s a problem to me. 

I do feel Quintus is older now.  More aware of danger himself.  They are going to an ATKV resort (where they always have staff looking out for kids).  I’m sure he will be okay.

I just worry.  The fact that my FIL said he knows what it took of me to say yes and that he will make sure Quintus is well taken care of and his cousin treats him well, helps.

Is he home yet?


Should I, or not?

I have had it up to here (ha like you can see where) with my father-in-law.  I am sick and tired of how he treats my husband.  I think he forgets that Tommie was not born to be his slave. 

I’m sick of how he shouts at my husband.  In front of the kids as well.  What kind of respect can they have for their father is this is the way he treats their dad?  He shouts at my husband in front of me.  I have had it.  Can you imagine how he treats him when we are not around?

My husband is a person for heaven’s sake.  Tommie is his SON!  Is he not proud of him?  Can he not show love?  Can he not appreciate the son he has?

Do I have the right to talk to my father-in-law about this?  I think I must.  I have kept my mouth shut long enough now.  His behaviour towards my husband is unacceptable and it influences our relationship.  It influences Tommie’s relationship with the boys.

I have had enough of Tommie getting home in a bad bad place because of his father!  His very own father.

Now, I just don’t know if it’s fair towards Tommie to take this up with his father.

I just know that the next time I witness that kind of behaviour, I will not be able to keep my mouth shut.  Maybe talking before I’m upset as well, will be better for all involved.


Cancer sucks. No matter what.

My Father-In-Law is having an operation later this morning.  He has cancer but I believe that they will remove it all this morning.

In honour of cancer and bandana day I bought bandana’s from Pick ‘n Pay.  He doesn’t have Leukemia (thankfully) but it’s still cancer.  I used the bandana’s to explain cancer to the boys.  It has now touched our lives twice and hopefully it will be the last.

Thinking of you Oupa Jan!

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