Oh 2018, if you were a human I would tell you to fuck off. Not good to see you go. Not bye. Just fuck off.
It has been, without a doubt, the toughest year of my life.
My poor body. What a fight it had to fight to make it to the end of this year. Rounds and rounds of chemo, chemo allergy, hospitalization, blood thinner injections, blood tests, sonars, xrays, MRI, radiations, operations, burns… The list is longer than I wish to remember. It was no walk in the park and in all honesty it is still not. My breast still hurts, my legs are in constant pain (sometimes agony) and my feet are permanently sore. All thanks to the side effects of my last chemo.
Emotionally I’m not in a good place. I’ve had some serious parenting downs and after finishing my cancer treatment I’ve been emotional. I don’t know why, I just am.
I’ve come to realize that people I thought would be there for me, would not. They did not support me in the way I deserved and they should have.
There were obviously some good times and good people who came into my life. For that I am thankful. I’m still alive and in remission (as is my mom) and for that I’m hugely thankful. I have a special, very honest and open relationship with my children. Different from most parents I think and for that I’m thankful.
2018… Off you will fuck.
I could say it was a crap year because let’s face it, it wasn’t perfect.
However it wasn’t all bad and that’s what I prefer to focus on. Bad things tend to bring people together. I connected with family that I haven’t really spoken to in years. I got to see my soul mate for the first time in years. My relationship with Tommie is better than it has been for a long time. I have received such special care and love from family and friends. My children have always been helpful but now they have stepped up in an awesome way.
Cancer has taken a lot but has also given appreciation, love and thankfulness. I am still here. I still get to say, I love you.
This year has not just been about cancer though.
Quintus and his 1st hockey team did exceptionally well, making it through to the north west finals. Jason and Zander has impressed me at every gala. The hard work they put in is something I appreciate. Kyla enjoyed her hockey season and seems to enjoy swimming now as well. School has gone well. Good friendships were made. My children are happy and proper and for that I am thankful.
I have amazing parents that have walked every step of my cancer journey with me, even with my mom having been diagnosed with cancer as well. Come to think of this, I am thankful that my cancer helped with early diagnosis of my mom’s cancer.
I am hugely thankful that my Bella is still with us.
Many things to be thankful for. It has not been a bad year. We are still blessed and together.
Happy new year to all my friends and family.
Like every year should be, it’s been a year with ups and downs.
Started off real bad, with me declaring February as the start to our new year. January just sucked.
I had some things to be really upset about and I am actually proud of myself for handling it the way I did. I so badly wanted to step in and handle the situation but knew it was time for me to let go just a little bit.
I think it’s worse when “friends” hurt my children. A random school child is easy to handle but “friends” That hurts. However, pain has a way of teaching a lesson. Which is obviously a good thing. It also hurts to look at your child when he learns that lesson. When you see that in takes away just a bit more of the innocent trust a child has. Takes away a little sparkle in the eye. It’s part of life I suppose. Learning to be more cautious.
We finally got Zander tested and confirmed that he does have dyslexia. I knew it. I realized it in Grade 1. However, reading it on black and white makes it more real. We have an awesome school that is going to help Zander as much as they can. I even considered homeschooling but after talking to our headmaster we decided not to. Zander loves his rugby and will probably not cope without it. He loves his friends. I am sure now that we have made the right decision to keep him in school. Especially after getting his final school report. He blew me away. All the hard work has paid off. He did so well.
My friend lost a baby and it was one of the most emotionally exhausting 24 hours I spent with her. I don’t know how she coped. It made me so thankful that we never did have to go through that. I hope that pretty soon she will have a sweet little baby that I can spoil.
We went from a family of 5 to a family of 6. Again. Kyla is back with us. In our foster care. We are very thankful for that. We want her happy and we (as well as the social workers) believe that she will be happy here. It was heartbreaking to take her back to the Children’s Home in September. Never again. Her mom is happy that she is here. All around a good decision.
I think if I had to look back at this year and put it down in one sentence, I would say that we have grown.
Here’s to hoping that 2016 will be a good year. Where we grow more (please not in size hehe), love more.
I hope that your dreams for 2016 will be achieved.
Mag 2016 sag wees.
It has been a brilliant year. My kids excelled. They made me proud on so many different levels. Tommie and I are happier than we have been in years. It has been good to us.
It wasn’t all sunshine and roses but it was good.
Quick recap on 2014. No time wasted hehe
I just got my WordPress “year in review” and one of the things that stood out for me was that I only wrote 71 posts all year! 71 out of 365 days. Wasn’t as active on my blog as I would have liked.
2013 sucked but had some pretty darn good days too. I detest writing “oh-poor-me” posts, so I would rather not write at all.
I also battle to find the balance when posting about Quintus. He is older now. His friends read my blog. I don’t want to write things that will embarrass him and let’s face it, I’m a mommy-blogger. I don’t get into politics. I don’t write about clients
much. I tend to not bitch about school much.
Maybe 2014 will be a year for more blogging. More smiles. More content moments. Less stress. Healthy kids and husband. Less hospital visits. More long weekends away.
Here’s to 2014 being a good and healthy year for all of us. For new babies being born healthy. For wishes to come true. For good things to happen to good people.