Parenting is darn difficult.
You might be
the perfect an amazing baby parent but then battle with your toddler. Toddlers and babies might drive you insane but teenagers seem easy.
Raising your child changes all the time. It changes as your child gets older. Things that worked before, might not work at all now.
I had some parenting battles this past year. Not all the time but some days were bad. I felt as though I was losing my relationship with my child. Something I never ever want to happen.
We had always been close (as I am with all my children) but then something changed and he seemed to drift further and further away from me.
It came to a point where I either had to discipline the heck out of him or work on getting our relationship back together. I chose the latter.
This brought some judgement from others and it got me thinking. Look, I don’t like judgement. I don’t think any of us have the right to judge others. We don’t know what really goes on in their lives and cannot judge based on the little bits we actually see and know.
I was just thinking how raising your child is such a balance. A balance between being fair to all the children. Disciplining them equally but not the same? If you understand what I mean? Not all children react the same discipline. However, not just the discipline but also knowing when to discipline and when to see the bigger picture. When discipline will just push your child further away and into more danger than just trying to find what can work for both of you.
I don’t want to say who this child is but please know that you are loved beyond measure. I will do anything to keep you (a) safe and (b) happy.
Soos die son
As we sat in the dark after the kids went to bed, Tommie and I spoke about the children. We have so many worries about each and every one. So many things to be proud of. So many personalities to work with. Different reactions to situations and trying to keep them all happy and loved.
I wish I could explain to them just how much I love them. Just how proud I am of them. How they drive me insane. How hard I try at raising them to be well adjusted, proper people. People who will care and understand. Have respect and be confident.
I can only try. We can only try. We don’t always succeed but I hope we mostly do.
I hope they know that they are loved and respected, regardless. That I would move the world, hang the moon just a bit that way or pick a flower on the other side of the world for them if it will make their lives better.
Kiddos, you are loved.
I have the best kids….
okay I always say that but really I do!
I was helping Jason just now. He was battling a bit with idioms.
One of them is “nie jou woord breek nie” (never go back on your word)
After explaining it, he said…”oh, like you Mom! When I was born you promised to be an awesome Mom and you have kept that promise!”
Look, I’m far from the perfect parent. I don’t think there is such a thing as a perfect parent. One can only strive to be a good enough parent. Which is great, since children have to see that we make mistakes. We get upset. We handle situations the wrong way. All so that we can teach them how to say sorry. How we correct the wrong.
Yet, I wonder if parents (including me) sit back at night and think if they could do anything better. How they actually handle situations wrong when it comes to their children. If they unknowingly treated their child badly. If a child looking for a hug was pushed away. If a child wanted to say something special or exciting but was told to be quiet. Maybe it’s little things but when they add up and happen often, it hurts. When a child should be encouraged to be loving and caring but instead is pushed away…then what do we teach our children?
Parents should think before they act. Parents should remember who is the parent and who is just a child.
Parents should remember that children learn from them. Good and bad.
Sit back and think if you would want your child to treat your grandchild, the same way you are treating your child now.
I think one of the worst things for me as a parent is to see my child cry.
I want to hug the tears away and fix the hurt. Sometimes you can’t and it is all part of life’s process to turn them into a mature adults. I get that. I then help my kids to understand this and to work through their feelings.
Sometimes it’s unfair and nothing you can think of can even remotely make it sound fair or okay. Those hurt.
When the tears are because of the way someone close to him handles / communicates or treats another person then I’m just royalty pee’d off.
My kids are emotionally caring people. I have taught them from little kids to always put themselves into the other person’s shoes. To have empathy. This is what they expect other people to have as well.
Then someone close to them doesn’t and treats another with disrespect and my son ends up crying for that person. This is when I see red. “My tor val af”
I use it as a life lesson but flip man, treat other people with respect.
I had a client this week who is 8 weeks pregnant. Multiple IVF treatments. A miscarriage and now she is pregnant. Hoping this is the one.
We spoke about parenting as I filled in her tax return. I realised that she was seeing a whole other side of me.
Being a mom is such a big part of who I am, that I sometimes forget not everyone sees that side of me.
She is so nervous about being a mom. I think she will be a brilliant mom. She’s that kind of person who you want to be your Facebook friend even though you only do your tax lol She is sweet and caring and adorable. I think she will be a great mom.
It is not always that easy to know though. I never thought I would be this kind of Mom. That I would love parenting so much.
I love being a mom. I love spending time with my kids. I enjoy them. I don’t find parenting difficult. I am blessed that my kids are easy to raise. Don’t know how much credit I can take for that. I think they just have great personalities that works well with mine 😉
I hope that she will love parenting as well. Especially since it was/is so difficult for her to just have a baby. She mos went through the hard part already.
When my “morning” (and by morning I mean the time from waking up, to dropping the kids off at school) ends with a letter in a pencil case that says:
As upset as I can get with you, I love you way more. Have a great day at school. Mom. “Like the sun”
Then you must know that the “morning” wasn’t so great. Well, I think the fact that I woke up to no milk in the house and therefor no coffee, I should have known it would be like that?
Oh well….everyone has the stuff they left at home. Little boys were walked to class. I love you and it is okay were shared.
Hopefully it gets better from here on.