Super Mom

Sick

Bad back

My back is still out and so far it seems to be getting worse…well I suppose the back spasms are sure to follow soon if this darn back doesn’t realign itself soon.

I am on a whole handful of meds (no less than 7 tonight….which I can swallow all at once…..if you wanted to know!)

Apparently one of those will knock me out straight after taking it. Well I am in bed, waiting for it to kick in. Something has got to work!


Cancer sucks. No matter what.

My Father-In-Law is having an operation later this morning.  He has cancer but I believe that they will remove it all this morning.

In honour of cancer and bandana day I bought bandana’s from Pick ‘n Pay.  He doesn’t have Leukemia (thankfully) but it’s still cancer.  I used the bandana’s to explain cancer to the boys.  It has now touched our lives twice and hopefully it will be the last.

Thinking of you Oupa Jan!

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What should I do

I think I have mentioned before that my housekeeper is really sick.  She won’t get better.  Also she doesn’t get the necessary medication from our country that has promised to make it available to everyone who needs it (but that is another blog)

She has worked for us for almost 9 years.  Since Quintus was a baby boy and her daughter just over a year old.

Now she is too sick to work properly.  My house has never been in the condition it is in now.  She is just not doing what I pay her to do.  Financially it is not worth it for me to keep her.

Yet I know that she won’t be able to get another job.  If I let her go, there is no-one that will take care of her and her kids.

YES she should be able to go on disability pension but let’s face it…in our country?  That option is available to those who know someone on the inside.  We will try though.  We are going through to process.

I feel so sorry for her.  I do.  I also need someone to do a proper job though.


Sick boy

Apparently there’s a manual that explains why kids get sick at night.  You know the ‘throw up’ kind of sick.

I never got the manual.  Not even the Spanish one. 

Zander started throwing up on Friday night and started again tonight.   Friday night was kinda interesting, since we had a friend over.  Tommie was outside drinking visiting, while I was inside changing the bedding for the 4th time.

I hope he is 100 % by Wednesday though.  We are going to Klein-Kariba and I’m counting the seconds.  I cannot wait to get away.  I do believe that I might actually not even have to work while I’m there!

I think we all deserve this break away.  It’s only for 5 days but right now it feels like more than enough.  It will be so nice to spend some time with just my boys.

Only 3 more sleeps 🙂


Small cry

I had a small cry this morning when I got out of the car at work.  If you know me, you would know that I don’t cry.  It’s just not me.

I’m just so sick of being in pain and so sick of having to ask people for help.

I put out my back.  AGAIN.  Not just the average back pain but the type where getting up or walking or sitting or even lying is painful. 

Zander fell on my arm and now my arm is hurting more as well. 

I want to play cricket or rugby with the boys.  I want to run with Quintus and Jason to get them fit for their rugby season.

I’m just sick of this.


Quiet

If you are wondering why I am so quiet, it’s because I can’t like complaining all day long. 

I’m sore.  The pain is really really bad and that is about all I can think about.  I have no idea how I am going to cope going back to work next week.


I have one eye

How do people with one eye do anything?  I pour water into the jug and I miss it?  I pick up a pen…and I miss it.  I put coffee in my cup…and yes, I miss it.

I have an eye infection.  In my entire life, I have never had an eye infection like this.  I didn’t know that it could be THIS painful!!!  I thought it might just push itself out at any second.  I think that’s why the whole eye got so swollen. It was trying to protect my eye from doing just that! 

I cannot SEE through my eye.  I have spent most of this weekend with my eye closed.  I have even taken a nap!!!  I cannot lie still and do nothing.  I cannot lie and then worst of all not really read.  To some people it may be very relaxing to just lie all. weekend. long.  Not me.

I couldn’t even work!  I look horrible.  I looked horrible on Friday but boy do I beat that today…I can only hope by tomorrow morning I won’t look as though my husband hit me.

I’m not asking 2009 to get any better but can the rest of January just be normal?


Nurses

The good, the bad and the ugly.  Or those who think they own your child while in hospital and you are but an observer. 

Some of the nurses are brilliant.  They have respect for a sleeping child.  They are nice and accommodating.  Even letting his brothers in to say hallo.

Then you get the downright ugly who decides that after coming here for 6 year and never being stopped to bring in the brothers, that they might not even come in for 2.3 seconds.  *Yes I know kids aren’t normally allowed in children’s wards BUT like I say, it’s never been a problem before and even now not one of the other nurses had an issue with this*

THEN you get the bad ones.  URGH.  I had a nurse come to give Quintus medicine yesterday.  According to me he has not had that before and I wanted to know what it is and why he is getting it.  She almost made him drink it before answering me.  I have every right to know what she is giving my child!!!  She brought the file to show me that it was given to him the day before as well (while I was with the other two for a while).  Woo-pee-ding.  I still wanted to know what it was.  She had to go fetch the box to see what it is!!!  She didn’t even know!!!  It ended up being more antibiotics, so I let her give it to him.  I actually had to tell her that it’s antibiotics.  huh?  I must tell a nurse what it is?

Anyway…we will be going home tomorrow and I will not have to worry about that anymore.

 

Just for me to keep record:

When we came in his CRP levels were 102.4.  Normal is 0 – 10.  Now it is 73.3 (still high)

White blood count was 14.6.  Normal  is 4 – 11. Now it is 8.6 (normal)


Fetch me …

It’s the saddest thing how a hospital stay affects the whole family.  Not just disrupting the routine and adding more stress with regards to work and taking care of the kids but also each individual.  Especially so little Zander this time.

He phones me many times to ask me to come pick him.  Tommie has come to the hospital to help me out.  So that I can go to Jason (who is still SO sick) and Zander.  When I left to come back to the hospital again later this afternoon, he begged me to come back.

It’s just so sad to know that he is that upset and there is nothing I can do about it.  That I have another sick son at home and I’m not the one lying next to him tonight.  I’m not the one making sure his fever doesn’t get out of control.  I’m not the one to give him TLC.


Tickbite fever

Here I am, posting from hospital again.

Quintus started feeling sick on Sunday and since Zander had flu in a bad way, I thought Quintus was coming down with flu as well. Apparently not. 
I took him to the doctor yesterday and he was admitted for suspected meningitis. I was worried about that too, since he started getting a stiff neck. That with the high fever and terrible headaches, put out warning signals.  The doctor also wanted to test him for tickbite fever since we went camping that weekend before we went to the sea.

The test results came back that he has tickbite fever.
Thankfully not as bad as the doctor had feared but not just bad flu as I had hoped.

This hospital sucks. The children’s ward is closed (since there aren’t enough sick kids for them to open it up). So he is in a normal ward. The nurses have no clue how to work with kids. We were here from 5 pm.  He got his first pain/fever meds at 6:15 pm after I almost had to go kill people to get it. The doctor came to check up on him twice and also to see the blood results but by then they still had not come to draw blood! That was only done at 8 pm. They took so long to put in his drip that the doctor did it himself when he came around the second time.

We got the results 2 hours later and only then did he start on antibiotics. I’m sure he will start feeling better today.

When I took all 3 the boys to the doctor yesterday, he examined Quintus first since he was clearly worse off than the other two. After looking at Quintus he wanted to know why my kids always have to get sick in the extreme.

That is what I want to know as well.

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Just one more

Can Monday not please be on Tuesday?  After the week we spent in jail hospital, I wanted to come home and relax.  Go out and have coffee after begging asking someone to stay with the boys.  Not that I would have left Quintus right now.  He still needs me too much.  One can dream though, right?

However, I spent yesterday feeling like death warmed up.  I felt as though someone was doing their absolute best to pull my stomach right out of my body.  I wanted to crawl up into bed and feel sorry for myself.

I could not.  I had to be Mom.  I had to be nurse.  I did, thankfully, have a very supportive Tommie.  He went to pharmacy for me.  Twice.

I honestly don’t want to go to work tomorrow.  I don’t want to face my clients.  Catch up on the work that has piled up on my desk. 

I want a weekend!


Home

We are home. Recovering at home. Not sharing a bathroom. No nurses waking us up. No bell that rings at the paediatric ward door. No machine making a bit of a noise ALL. NIGHT. LONG. No crying babies.

We are home.


Torn in three

Night three in our little flat.  Flat number 9 in the Paediatric ward of course.

Quintus was better this morning (meaning that he didn’t cry in pain but still battled to get off the bed).  Tonight the pain doesn’t seem under control at all.  He isn’t drinking enough and the last thing I want is for him to get a drip again.  I really hope we’ll get to go home tomorrow.

This is also night three that I’m away from the other two.  Two boys who are now missing Mommy a lot.  Two boys that Mommy is missing a lot.  The plan was that I’d sleep at home tonight (Tommie here with Quintus) but Quintus just didn’t want me to go.  I could see that Jason really wanted me to sleep at home tonight.  I felt SO bad trying to convince him that it would be better for me to stay.

Man it’s tough. 

I also have some serious work that needs to be done.  I tried a couple of times today but got interrupted so many times that I just made more work for myself.  The due date is tomorrow.  Nothing like a little bit of added stress right?

I wish I could be with ALL the boys tonight.

Oh I must say that I just loved loved loved Jason’s concert last night.  He was so cool and calm (which really is just his personality!).  He was the main character in the last part and played his part SO well.  So proud of him.


Today was too much

My day started with a crisis and ended in the same way.

Tommie woke me up and said that there was something stuck in my dog’s throat.  She was battling to breath and clearly trying to get it out.  It was getting worse and worse and she was getting weaker.  Eventually the Vet was available and she was ‘admitted’.  He gave her some or other medication, kept her there, took x-rays and she had a bone that thankfully by then had worked it’s way into her stomach.  Thank goodness she is okay.

Then there’s my little Quintus.  I went to pick the boys up from school and Quintus came walking out of the offices…crying?  Clutching his stomach.  Apparently he threw up around 10 am and from 12 had been crying all the time.  In pain.  They say they tried to get hold of me but I didn’t answer my phone?!  The one lying next to me?!  The one that doesn’t show a missed call!?  Why did they not try any of the 3 other numbers they have on their file?????

Something told me this wasn’t the normal stomach ache / tummy virus.  I got an appointment for him and Mommy intuition was right.  Tommie got back from the doctor with him and said his appendix was on the verge of rupturing.  It had to come out ASAP.  We were told to go directly to hospital with him.  I left everything on my desk just like that, grabbed clothes for us and there we were.  In hospital.  Getting medication for the horrible pain, his drip etc.etc

He would have been taken in at 6 pm.  Changed to 5:45.  I explained to him in detail what would happen.  He met the nursing staff.  He was taken into the ward and our long stressful wait began.

Well about 15 minutes later the anesthetist came walking past.  As in, he just arrived at the hospital!  So my child has been there and NO-ONE else?  Just the nurses?  Why did they take him in then!?  Why was he lying in the theatre, scared with bright white lights and no doctors?  I got so ticked off with the anaesthetists when I asked him why he is so late and he so casually answered that he only got to leave now.  No sorry or niks.

Then it takes forever for Quintus to come out.  FINALLY our doctor (who would be doing the procedure…the one we saw earlier in the day) comes out and apologises for not being the one who operated!!!!????  Apparently the other doctors decided he took too long to get to hospital (after he did phone and say he was going to be late) that they went ahead and did the operation.  THAT’S MY CHILD!!!  I’m waiting outside the theatre.  How about coming out to ASK me if it’s okay.  I don’t know the doctor who did the operation.  I trust MY doctor and that’s why I agreed to HIM taking out the appendix!!!

I tell you that today has just been too much.  I will be taking up all the issues with the relevant people but right now, I am sitting on my most uncomfortable hospital chair / bed thing, holding my son’s hand.  Like he asks me to every time he wakes up.


1 minute 1 lifetime

I think my heart may have stopped beating for 5 minutes.  All that was needed to resuscitate me was the sound of my child screaming crying.

Our ENT came out after the operation (that took 40 minutes), to tell us it went well and that Zander is in the recovery room.  Our hospital is small and we have been there a zillion too many times.  We know where the sound of the nurse’s voice will come from.  We can always recognise our child waking up.

Today we could hear the nurse calling his name but no response from him.  For 10 minutes!  My heart stopped beating.  Tommie was ready to walk through the surgery doors and look for Zander himself.  Then I heard that beautiful scream cry of my very own baby boy. 

I ran to the door to take him from the arms of the nurse.  To tell him that he did well and I love him and I’m glad to have him back in my arms.

It all did go well.  He is handling the pain “okay”.  He has had Coke to drink, had crisps to eat.  Even biltong and dinner that my mom made.

I was pretty emotional today.  I was sitting waiting, so close to crying when the ENT came out to say that Zander is out and they are ready to start with the procedure.  Then I cried.  I told him that I need him to take extra special care of my little boy.  When he walked away I just cried and cried. 

I’m not normally this emotional when my boys go in for operations but today I was.  Very much so.

I love this photo that I took of Zander and Tommie, right before they took him in.


I found it

I found my way to the gym tonight.  That without my GPS too.  Very proud of myself, since it’s been so long I thought I might get lost.

As I drove out of the driveway I was thinking why on earth am I going?  Definitely love looking for excuses not to go, when I haven’t gone for a while.  So I made list.  I started thinking that tonight is probably the only night this week I could go:

  • Tuesday – it’s cricket.  There’s just not enough time with cricket practise and homework to still make it to the gym.
  • Wednesday – Zander is going to hospital.  My baby boy is going for grommets/tubes AGAIN.  For the 4th time.  They are also removing his adenoids and it seems his tonsils too.  He doesn’t have tonsillitis now though.  He has had it many times since his birth though.  I can’t decide if I want them to do this though.  On the other side, we are already taking the risk of him having an operation.  Why not just get it done at the same time…
  • Thursday – I don’t think Zander will be feeling near well enough for me to leave him alone.
  • Friday – Even if Zander is feeling better, the boys have a HUGE thing going on at school.  Camp-out, dance…a real spring festival that we have all been looking forward too.  Not so sure how much I will have of it though.  I don’t want Zander to sleep out in the caravan then.  We’ll see.  Either way, no time for gym.
  • Saturday and Sunday – Same thing.  Festival goes on until Sunday.

As I drove back from gym I knew.  I just needed a break from everything.  I needed to remind myself that I like to gym.


Office memo

What is it with the employees in my office?  Especially me the blond one with the many kids.  I said:  ONE MONTH’S notice for sick leave.  It takes darn long to get the magic fairies to do my her work when I am she is sick.  So now I she can sulk and have a fever and speak funny and cough all I she wants but I she will sit there and do my her work and smile and wave and enjoy it.

…. now if it were next week, when I didn’t have any pressing deadlines, I’d be a nice boss and give my own self off to stay in bed and get better …


How do you know?

Jason is really sick.  I considered taking him to the ER over the weekend because his cough sounded so bad.  He also had a fever but I could keep that under control easily.  Yesterdaymorning early I made an appointment for him and he has bronchitis.  He is sounding horrible. Obviously he is not at school and basically confined to bed.  (I do not have the time or energy to sit in hospital for days, so I’ll do what I can to prevent that)

Quintus on the other hand decided yesterday morning that he is feeling sick as well.  Too sick to go to school.  I thought he was giving it a bit of a lie but thing is, I’m not in his body.  How do I know if he is feeling sick or not.  So I let him stay home.  He was not sick.

I was so disappointed in him.  It’s not like him and I will not allow him to get into the habit of skipping school for an ingrown toe-nail no reason at all.  I told him that in the future if he doesn’t have  40 + fever or crawling his way to hospital he will be going to school.  Okay that’s a bit extreme but I don’t take lying well.


Snap and run

My husband is 38.  Yet he still follow orders from his parents like he is 8.

Remember when we were kids?  “Please go fetch us this”  “Take the dog out for a walk”  “Pick up your toys”.  Our parents ordered asked us to do many things.  As children we listened and did what was asked of us.  This is the way it works.

Then as we get older, grow up, become adults and get married, this changes.  We have our own lives.  Our own many orders that we need to follow from your wife due to our lives in general.  Our parents don’t expect us to follow orders anymore.  They will ask but not order.  The balance changes and this is a good thing.  We need to take care of our family’s needs.  Mostly we will do what our parents ask anyway but now we have to take into account our own family and our own needs as well. 

Or that is how I see it.

In Tommie’s situation, this hasn’t changed.  He is still 8.  They still order.  They snap their fingers and regardless of our needs, he will jump for them.  I know he means well.  I don’t doubt that.  However he is a grown man and choose to get married and have children.  Now we should be his priority.

Yesterday we had to rush home from the wedding.  I was feeling horrible.  I got the boys’ stomach virus and really needed his help.  I needed him home to help with our three boys.  I needed him home for some TLC for my own self.  However, he had told his parents he would take their caravan for them.  200 km from our home.  He had to sleep over there last night, leaving me alone with the boys all this time.  My father-in-law is coming through to town on Tuesday, he could pick up the caravan then.  Tommie could have taken the caravan today, when I probably would have felt better.

Again he chose to ignore my our needs. 


Thank you Mom

Last night in the chaos of getting Quintus settled and out of pain, making dinner and getting JJ and Zander bathed, I forgot to give Jason his medication.  By the time I realized this, he was already fast asleep in his bed.

I fetched his asthma pump and held over his face, without waking him.  Quintus came up behind me and said “You are such a good Mom.  That’s so nice of you not to wake him up.  Thank you”.

Then during the night we were up for 3 hours straight with Quintus throwing up and generally not feeling well.  I was up and down with him all the time.  Rubbing his back, offering water, giving medication.  Just before he finally fell asleep he said – “I’m so glad you are my mom”

Those words made the entire three hours feel like split seconds. 


2 pills 1 teaspoon

I have battled and fought and ignored a terrifying ear ache since Sunday.  I have battled with ear infections since the tender age of 3 months when my ear drum burst.  I have had many an ear operation and honestly battle with it way more than I care to admit.  Today I finally gave in and admitted that this pain is just getting worse and went to my doctor to get the necessary medication.  So far I’m still waiting for my eardrum to burst the medication to work.  Hopefully by tomorrow it won’t feel as if the one side of  my face has been hit by a train and someone forgot to remove half of the track that was left in my ear.

To add to the fun, Quintus has a pretty severe throat infection.  He woke me up during the night crying and has pretty much been crying since.  He too is on some heavy duty drugs. 

Zander is on the verge of cutting the tooth which doesn’t make him the happiest of people out there either.

I spent many an hour at the doctors today, since I took Jason for a check-up on his asthma as well.  Was really sweet when Jason’s paediatrician offered medication to Quintus before he even looked at Jason.

 


Lung function test

I have mentioned before how Jason has a real high allergy count and doesn’t have much energy. After putting him on some medication as prescribed by my GP, it did seem to go somewhat better but he still had the constant runny noise, sneezing and watery eyes. I can not be fun.

I finally *hanging my head in shame* took him to a paediatrician today. He looked at Jay and immediately said that even without doing a lung function test to see if he has asthma or not, the allergy alone is enough to cause the lack of energy. He has severe allergy and unfortunately it’s to grass and the likes, so nothing we can do about that. We can only treat the symptoms.
He is not happy about the meds he is on, saying it won’t do much to relieve the symptoms…well clearly it is not helping. So new stuffs for the allergy and apparently I must sit when I find out how much it costs.

Then he did the lung function test. Now see, just after birth Jason was diagnosed with asthma. On and off I had him on pumps. He doesn’t wheeze and doesn’t cough when he runs. In my opinion he didn’t have asthma then. My mom and brother has asthma. I know what it sounds like I thought. So I really felt that the doctor was just using asthma as an excuse (like they often like to do).

Well the lung function test shows clearly that he has asthma. Clearly. Poor child has less than 70 %  lung capacity as other kids his age and length. Even after the medication they give to expand the airways (pretty much the same as an asthma pump), he still didn’t come near the normal capasity.

He will now be on a daily pump again. Plus meds for the allergy. I hope this will help him. I hope this will sort out his asthma and allergy so that he can feel better and have enough energy to play with his friends and take part in sports.


Soapbox

This pisses me off upsets me.  Okay yeah…there’s a power problem in South Africa.  Yes it is cold all of a sudden. And apparently it is unpredicted and never happens since Eishkom did not prepare themselves for it?

Okay let’s accept that we have to have power cuts and load shedding and all of that crap BUT CAN THEY NOT WARN US!!!!  Fuck Just give me time to sort out food for the kids then.  Make sure homework is done. 

I was just at the doctor earlier this afternoon when I heard about a c-section scheduled for 18h00.  The power went out at 18h05.  I don’t want to be that mom-to-be.  Yes they have back-up generators but goodness, I don’t want an op under those circumstances.

Little Bear has tonsillitis.  As I suspected.  I walked in and told the doctor that I’m pretty confident he has tonsillitis, so all he needs to do is check his throat and give me antibiotics.  He just laughed and asked how I knew.  Well, after three kids and countless infections, I’m pretty much a pro on that one.

Thankfully I gave him the Voltaren suppository before the power was cut


Sick little Bear

Today I stayed home with my koala bearZander. I have even started calling him ‘bear’.

My little boy is fighting a fever and has flu. Keeps on telling me it hurts. Our weather is freezing (well for us) especially if you take into account that last week we were still in full-on summer weather.

This is one of the reasons I love having my own business. Being able to decide to stay home. No sick note needed or explanations to be given. Just rearanging clients which I thankfully leave in the very capable hands of Linda (lifesaver, friend and office manager)

My mother is always more than willing to take care of my kids in sickness and in health but I don’t want to risk her getting sick at this point. She is going in for an operation on Wednesday and all and any hugs, thoughts and prayers will be much appreciated.

So for tomorrow Bear and I will be home too. A bit of stay-at-home-mom for me.