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So it IS dyslexia. Thank goodness.

Yes. Thank goodness.

We had him tested for dyslexia when he was younger. He was 9. He was diagnosed as having dyslexia and after trusting that the teachers will know how to handle a child with dyslexia, I was sorely mistaken and had to make the decision to homeschool him.

I have gone back and forth so many times. I’m just a mom. What do I know? Am I making the right decision? Was this the best decision for him. What if the diagnoses was incorrect?

You know what parents are like. That guilt even when there should be none.

He had to be tested again now since he is going to Grade 10 next year and needs concessions. He needs extra time, he needs someone to read and write for him. He is allowed that if diagnosed again.

So deep in my mind I worry. What if his dyslexia is not that bad. What if I tried harder and he could have been ‘better’.

Well, again we were told that he is dyslexic. Both types. Yes, I know you get many types of dyslexia (trust me I know more than I want to) but two are the main ones and he has both.

Am I glad? Hell no. Do I want him to be dyslexic? Hell no. I’m I thankful for the diagnoses. Hell yes. We made the right choice by taking him out of school and giving him the opportunity to learn to read and write without judgement (from the teachers BTW and not his peers)

I think though that the biggest eye-opener for me was his reaction this afternoon. He was quiet and obviously stressed on the way there. He even said that he was scared that he did not have dyslexia. Thankfully the lady who did the tests is so sweet. He liked her the moment he saw her (even with the weird Covid mask) They went upstairs and did some tests, came back and did more in the room where I was waiting.

She can’t tell me what will be decided with regards to accommodations that he will get (that is a different government department that makes those decisions based on her information) however she did confirm that he does have dyslexia. She spoke some about his specific dyslexia but also how she picked up on certain things that he is brilliant with.

On the way back he played the music so loud and sang with non-stop. Loudly. He does not like to hear anyone sing louder than the music and we were pumping it!

You know what? He needed to hear that he is dyslexic. He needed to hear that him battling is not because he is stupid or lazy. He has dyslexia and having a diagnoses is great. Knowing that it is okay.

He needed to hear that he can do this. He will be fine. There will be ways to help and he will be just fine without being judged because he really does have dyslexia.

Yes, he was diagnosed before but he was very young and the lady that tested him was very young as well. This was different. The tests were more advanced and lady has been doing this for years. She tests a couple of children every day.

I’m happy for him. I was so happy to see him happy when we left. He feels validated. As he should.

“You are doing well, my son. I’m so very proud of you. I’m proud that you walked in there with your head held high and walked out on a cloud. You know that dyslexia is nothing to be ashamed about. It is totally okay. You are an example to others. You are so much loved. Mom xx ”


First chemo session

Honestly? I was nervous. Nervous because I couldn’t feel the chemo port and thought they wouldn’t be able to use it. Nervous of the unknown.

I handle such situations with humor. I had that oncology in giggles most of the time. Except when someone was asleep and there was this one old Oom that snored. That calm snore. I wanted to sleep with him!

First they put a plaster over the port that numbs the area. Takes 40 minutes and gave us time to visit family in hospital. I went back and felt close to zero pain when she put needle in. Felt absolutely nothing when she flused it and nothing while getting the chemo. I had my hands available and comfortable without an IV. It was great.

My body handled it like a pro. So far, so good. Little bit nauseous but I can cope with it.

I was so worried that I made a mistake by getting the port. I thankfully did not. It worked so well.


How do I feel

I try not to feel.  That is my honest answer.  I don’t know how I feel because I hide it even from myself.  As soon as I try to think about it, I stop myself.  It is what it is and getting all emotional about it won’t help.

I do feel bad that it has affected Zander so much this whole term.  We did all his work but it always seemed rushed or not on schedule.

I feel bad that I was hardly in the office the last month.  It’s stressful times with tax season ending next week and I was not there to do my share.  My dad had to stand in and take a lot of the work on his shoulders.

My parents have done more than can ever be expected of them.  I don’t know how I would have coped without them this past month.

At this stage I just feel it’s unfair towards others.  I feel horrible when I see how upset other people are.

It still feels like people are making a bigger deal out of it than it has to be though.  I know my whole opinion about that will change once I start chemo but that’s how I feel now.  It felt like the operation was bigger than it had to be.  It’s as though in my mind it was just a tiny growth with no chance of it turning into something that anyone has to worry about.  As though it could have been dealt with , without anyone having to know.

Now it’s a big thing that will influence the next 8 months of my life, of my family’s lives.

I’m just writing down thoughts.  It feels so unreal that I feel so healthy now and I have to go make myself sick.  I’m willingly going to walk into oncology and get sick.  It’s just … surreal.


The results are in

All tests done and I saw my oncologist for the 2nd time.  Some interesting facts.  The mark on my back is thankfully just proof that I have a bad back.  I’m very thankful for that and ag shame, my back is stuffed.  Then I went for a sonar and x-ray this morning.  Apparently I have gallstones.  They do not bother me, so I will not bother them!

It’s funny how all of a sudden a bad back and gallstones are something to be thankful for!

I get the chemo port on Tuesday and should start chemo either Wednesday or Thursday.

It’s starting to feel real.


2016

Billy Connolly has a video clip where he talks about the words “fuck off”.

That is what I think of when I look back at 2016.  It can just fuck off.  Off it should fuck.

So it has.

It is a year where so many people lost their lives.  The one that hit me most, was the death of sweet little Nate. I cannot go to bed or wake up without thinking of him. Those beautiful eyes. The absolute joy that was him.

It is the year that broke Zander.  To see him shatter was painful.  (I have so much to say here but I keep on deleting it.  Not worth it)

It is the year that probably ended Quintus’ rugby.  I don’t think we will ever let him play again after he fractured his vertebrae.

Quintus is my rock.  He seems to manage to keep on standing regardless.  Again, I have things I want to say about relationships and especially how your relationship with your father / mother should be but I will not.  Let’s just say that people should treat others with love.  At all times.

It is the year that I cried more tears about my Bella than ever.  I know she won’t be with us for much longer.  Nearly lost her twice.  I’m so thankful that she managed to make it to 2017.  Now my next wish is for her to still be healthy by the time we go to Stilbaai again in April.

I can say though that it was a year that was good to Jason.  He earned his school honours that he so badly wanted.  He especially wanted to achieve that in Grade 8 and I was so proud when he did.

The year has been good for Kyla as well.  She loved the sport, the friends and feeling like any other loved child should.  It has been a huge learning curve.  Not always a walk in the park but overall she’s very happy.

If I have one wish for 2017 it will be that I hope it is a year that is “soft” on everyone.  A year that will be patient and kind.  Where everyone will feel loved.

I wish you the best.


Homeschool moms vs working moms

As it is with social media, you follow people with the same interest or lifestyle as yourself.

So being a homeschool mom, I now have many online homeschool friends and groups that I follow.

Let’s not make any jokes here but I’m busy.  I’m very busy.  I love it.  I don’t complain for one moment but I’m busy.  I lie in bed at night just before I fall asleep and scroll through Facebook or while holding on for a client.  Maybe in between waiting for the next client.  Never like it used to be.  I just don’t have the time to catch up on it all.  So I miss a lot.  (Take it as an apology if I haven’t liked, loved or commented on one of your posts!)

I did just happen on a post from a homeschool mom.  A mom who is thankful that she has time to just be and not planning the next week or working on any specific subject.  Even though homeschool moms do have way more time on their hands and tend to do more fun things with the children anyway, it only hit me then.  I don’t have that!  Yes, I don’t have to worry about planning school work (for the next week) I do however have to work.  Full-time.  I now have to  catch up on work.

Not quite the same break as “normal” homeschool moms 🙂  I don’t complain though.  It’s just different being a full-time working homeschool mom and being a homeschool mom.

Not that I would want to change that.  I’ll just stand here in the corner and juggle a full time job, mom of 5 children and homeschooling 1, including all their activities.

YOU DON’T SCARE ME.  I’m a homeschool, full-time working, mom of 5, hockey, rugby, netball, swimming, choir,  mom


In a year

Today a year ago, we bought a new car.  A non-mom, fast, little car.

It didn’t make sense to keep the Fortuner that we had then, since it would mostly be Zander, Bella and myself using the car.  So we went smaller.

A week ago, we bought a Mercedes.  Not a snazzy little fast Mercedes.  No, a bus.  A Vianno or something (can see I don’t know cars)

We have gone from 3 children to 5 in a year, with Kyla back home and then Anthony that has joined our family as well.  (My brother’s son who finds school in Klerksdorp way better than Louis Trichardt)

So now I drive a bus.

me

I do moan about my bus but secretly I love it 


All our children

 

As we sat in the dark after the kids went to bed, Tommie and I spoke about the children.  We have so many worries about each and every one.  So many things to be proud of.  So many personalities to work with.  Different reactions to situations and trying to keep them all happy and loved.

I wish I could explain to them just how much I love them.  Just how proud I am of them.  How they drive me insane.  How hard I try at raising them to be well adjusted, proper people.  People who will care and understand.  Have respect and be confident.

I can only try.  We can only try.  We don’t always succeed but I hope we mostly do.  

I hope they know that they are loved and respected, regardless.  That I would move the world, hang the moon just a bit that way or pick a flower on the other side of the world for them if it will make their lives better.

Kiddos, you are loved.


Decisions, tennis and little boys

Okay, I know he is not so little anymore.  However, I’m 41 and he is just 10, so he seems very little to me.

Little to be making decisions about not trying out for his school’s tennis team because it would interfere with his studying.  Studying that doesn’t come as easily as it does for other kids.  Unfortunately tennis is always on a Monday and they write tests on a Tuesday.  He just can’t.

I’m proud of him for realizing that he has to give up some things in order to do well at school.  It’s just tough seeing him make that decision.  He has taken tennis lessons since he was 5.  It’s a long time not to then try out for school team.

2012-05-18 16.27.04

Of course rugby is a totally different sport all together.   Not much that will stop him from playing there.  They are busy with try outs and I really hope that he makes the A team again.

It really is one of the big things that keeps him positive.

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What we like

THREE years ago, I asked the boys these questions.  I never did post it.  Saw it now in my drafts.

*****************

I asked the boys to give me 10 things they like about their brothers.

Here’s Jason’s list of his two brothers:

QUINTUS:

  • Nice
  • Strong
  • Warm
  • Helpful
  • Loving
  • Handsome
  • Of average hight (?)
  • Clever
  • Inspirational
  • Sporty

 

ZANDER:

  • Sweet
  • Good with climbing
  • He kicks well
  • Helpful
  • Loving
  • He doesn’t have any freckles
  • He is tall
  • He listens
  • He is fast
  • He is good with drawing and making it look pretty

 

Quintus’ list of his brothers:

JASON:

  • He thinks I’m his super hero
  • He wants to be like me
  • He can do anything he puts his mind to
  • He does amazing in school
  • He doesn’t hide things from me
  • Loves playing with me
  • Will borrow me money any time
  • He will help me with anything
  • He will carry my bag (like now when I hurt my foot)
  • He is sweet

ZANDER:

  • He loves playing
  • Will do everything with me
  • He is sweet
  • Will give me things if I need it
  • Will do anything for me
  • He will keep things for me
  • He doesn’t get upset easily
  • He is quiet when we learn
  • He thinks I”m his hero and tells all his friends about me

 

I will have to ask them these questions again soon 🙂


Nasty fall

Sorry if you were on the road and saw two white vehicles way over the speed limit.  It was us.

After getting a heart-stopping call from my mom with her crying and screaming that she was in, we didn’t know if she was being attacked or fell or cut herself or bleeding to death.  We did not know.

We had to get there immediately.  That’s all we knew.  (I beat Tommie BTW)

It took us two minutes.

My poor mom fell in the bathroom and hit her head against the corner of the wall.  Fell on her elbow as well.  Stitches in her head and elbow and sore all over.

I’m just glad it wasn’t too serious.

Glad she is okay.


2015

Like every year should be, it’s been a year with ups and downs.

Started off real bad, with me declaring February as the start to our new year.  January just sucked.

I had some things to be really upset about and I am actually proud of myself for handling it the way I did.  I so badly wanted to step in and handle the situation but knew it was time for me to let go just a little bit.

I think it’s worse when “friends” hurt my children.  A random school child is easy to handle but “friends”  That hurts.  However, pain has a way of teaching a lesson.  Which is obviously a good thing.  It also hurts to look at your child when he learns that lesson.  When you see that in takes away just a bit more of the innocent trust a child has.  Takes away a little sparkle in the eye.  It’s part of life I suppose.  Learning to be more cautious.

We finally got Zander tested and confirmed that he does have dyslexia.  I knew it.  I realized it in Grade 1.  However, reading it on black and white makes it more real.  We have an awesome school that is going to help Zander as much as they can.  I even considered homeschooling but after talking to our headmaster we decided not to.  Zander loves his rugby and will probably not cope without it.  He loves his friends.  I am sure now that we have made the right decision to keep him in school.  Especially after getting his final school report.  He blew me away.  All the hard work has paid off.  He did so well.

My friend lost a baby and it was one of the most emotionally exhausting 24 hours I spent with her. I don’t know how she coped.  It made me so thankful that we never did have to go through that.  I hope that pretty soon she will have a sweet little baby that I can spoil.

We went from a family of 5 to a family of 6.  Again.  Kyla is back with us. In our foster care.  We are very thankful for that.  We want her happy and we (as well as the social workers) believe that she will be happy here.  It was heartbreaking to take her back to the Children’s Home in September.  Never again.  Her mom is happy that she is here.  All around a good decision.

I think if I had to look back at this year and put it down in one sentence, I would say that we have grown.

Here’s to hoping that 2016 will be a good year.  Where we grow more (please not in size hehe), love more.

I hope that your dreams for 2016 will be achieved.

Mag 2016 sag wees.

 


One step closer

Four years ago you convinced us that you were big enough to play rugby. Even though you weren’t in school. Even though you were our baby.

You had a dream. (that has grown since then) Your dream has always been to play for your school’s first rugby team. Now you dream even bigger. Now wanting to play Varsity cup rugby.

I am so very happy that you are now one step closer to fulfilling your dream, after being chosen to play for the school’s under 9 rugby team.

Enjoy this year. Remember that we are proud of you regardless.

Soos die son




Protected: To talk or not

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ᔕᕼE ᔕᑕᗩᖇEᗪ ᗰE!

ᗷEᒪᒪᗩ ᕼᗩᔕ ᑭᑌT ᗰE (ᗩᑎᗪ TᕼE ᖴᗩᗰIᒪY) TᕼᖇOᑌGᕼ ᗩ ᒪOT Oᖴ ᔕTᖇEᔕᔕ TᕼᖇOᑌGᕼ ᕼEᖇ YEᗩᖇᔕ.
TᕼE ᗷᗩᑕK-Oᑭ ᗯᗩᔕ ᗪEᖴIᑎITEᒪY TᕼE ᗯOᖇᔕT.

TᕼIᔕ TIᗰE ᑕᗩᗰE ᗩ ᑕᒪOᔕE ᔕEᑕOᑎᗪ TᕼOᑌGᕼ.

ᗯᕼEᑎ ᔕᕼE ᗯᗩᒪKEᗪ IᑎTO TᕼE ᖴᒪᗩT ᗯITᕼ ᕼEᖇ EYE ᔕᗯOᒪEᑎ, I ᗯᗩᔕᑎ’T TOO ᗯOᖇᖇIEᗪ. ᔕOᗰE ᗩᒪᒪEᖇGE᙭ ᗩᑎᗪ ᔕᕼE ᔕEEᗰEᗪ ᗷETTEᖇ.

ᔕᕼE GOT ᗯOᖇᔕE ᗪᑌᖇIᑎG TᕼE ᑎIGᕼT, ᗯITᕼ ᕼEᖇ ᖴᗩᑕE ᗩᑎᗪ ᑎEᑕK ᔕᗯEᒪᒪIᑎG ᑌᑭ ᗩᑎᗪ EᑎᗪIᑎG ᗯITᕼ ᗷᒪOOᗪ Iᑎ ᕼEᖇ ᑌᖇIᑎE.
TᕼᗩT Iᔕ ᗯᕼEᑎ I KᑎEᗯ IT ᗯᗩᔕ ᔕEᖇIOᑌᔕ.

ᗯE ᖇᑌᔕᕼEᗪ TO ᖇIᐯᖇᔕᗪᗩᒪE TO ᔕEE TᕼE ᐯET ᔕIᑎᑕE TᕼEY ᗯOᑌᒪᗪ OᑎᒪY ᗷE Iᑎ ᔕTIᒪᗷᗩᗩI Iᑎ TᕼE ᗩᖴTEᑎOOᑎ. ᕼEᖇ ᗷOᗪY TEᗰᑭEᖇᗩTᑌᖇE ᗯᗩᔕ ᖴᗩᒪᒪIᑎG ᗩᑎᗪ ᔕᕼE ᗯᗩᔕ GETTIᑎG ᒪETᕼᗩᖇGIᑕ.

ᕼE ᒪIᔕTEᑎEᗪ TO TᕼE ᔕYᗰᑭTOᑎᔕ, GᗩᐯE ᕼEᖇ ᗩᑎ E᙭ᗩᗰᑎᗩTIOᑎ ᗩᑎᗪ ᗪEᑕIᗪEᗪ TO ᑭᑌT ᕼEᖇ Oᑎ ᗩ ᗪᖇIᑭ TO ᖴᒪᑌᔕᕼ ᕼEᖇ KIᗪᑎEYᔕ, GET ᗩᑎTI-ᕼEᔕTIᗰIᑎE Iᑎ ᗩᔕ ᗯEᒪᒪ ᗩᔕ ᗩᑎTIᗷIOTIᑕᔕ. ᗯE ᑕOᑌᒪᗪ GET ᕼEᖇ TᕼᗩT ᗩᖴTEᖇᑎOOᑎ.

ᗯE GOT ᕼEᖇ ᗷᗩᑕK Iᑎ ᗩ ᗰᑌᑕᕼ ᗷETTEᖇ ᔕTᗩTE, ᗩᒪTᕼOᑌGᕼ ᔕᕼE ᕼᗩᗪ TᖇOᑌᗷᒪE ᗷᖇEᗩTᕼIᑎG.

ᔕᕼE ᔕTIᒪᒪ ᑕOᑌGᕼᔕ EᐯEᖇY ᑎOᗯ ᗩᑎᗪ TᕼEᑎ. ᔕᕼE TIᖇEᔕ EᗩᔕIᒪY ᗷᑌT ᔕᕼE Iᔕ ᗷETTEᖇ.

I ᕼOᑭE TᕼᗩT ᗯᕼᗩTEᐯEᖇ ᗷIT / ᔕTᑌᑎG ᕼEᖇ ᕼᗩᔕ ᒪEᖴT TᕼE GᗩᖇᗪEᑎ. Iᖴ OᑎᒪY I ᑕOᑌᒪᗪ GET ᕼEᖇ TO ᔕTOᑭ ᑕᗩTᑕᕼIᑎG IᑎᔕEᑕTᔕ!


Ligaments

Quintus has had quite bad luck when it comes to injuries this year.

Poor kid played three rugby matches with a broken arm! o_O

Now he tore the ligaments in his foot.  NOT during a rugby match though.  After musical rehearsal.  Ironic isn’t it! 

Poor kid was in horrible pain after the fall.  I really wish the school would put lights up, so that the kids can see where they are going at night.  It was an accident bound to happen.  Just a pity it had to happen to my son!

Thankfully it’s exam time and they don’t have to carry those heavy school bags.  Don’t know how he would have managed with that.

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Protected: Why I don’t like Mother’s Day

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Religion

I think I need to clarify my previous post. Don’t think it came out quite right.

I have no problem with the kids learning about other religion. I have often said that. I do have a problem with it being taught as an exam subject though. Yes, they should have basic knowledge of other religion but I don’t think they need to be taught as though it is THEIR religion.


Driving

There we were, waiting for Jason to finish his tennis lesson.  Studying for the next exam NOT.  Actually just having a great time chatting.

One thing led to another and he ended up driving.  My big car.  Just like that.  Five minutes flat and he could start the car, pull away, change gears, drive between trees and stop.  Without stalling the car.

Just like that.

I suppose it’s a boy thing 😉  I remember getting SO upset with my dad when he taught me to drive.  And I was 17!  lol

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Blessed

Look, we are blessed beyond words.  I have more things to be thankful for than I can count.  If I had to make a list, the scale would fall over on the side of blessed.

Why then, do I feel like this?

Maybe because my back is extremely sore?

Maybe because Zander cried this morning and every other morning when I dropped him off at school?  No, crying is not the right word….grabbing on to my jersey (it’s cold already!?) and me having to pull away even as I want to just pick him up and walk away?

Maybe because Oncology is not the kind of ward in the hospital I ever thought I would go to?

I don’t know what it is.  But it must just keep moving right on out of my life.  I do not appreciate feeling like this.

I’m blessed. 

So I must smile and wave.

And be thankful.

See….me smiling ….. no that didn’t work.

Maybe tomorrow.


Lucky me

Tommie loves spending money.  He loves shopping.

This is so not me.  I detest shopping.  I don’t mind spending money on others but I am more careful as to what I spend our money on.

Christmas time is the worst though.  Up to the week before Christmas, Tommie is still okay.  Doesn’t spend more than  he has to.  Then it’s like the Christmas shopping spirit just hits him!  Scary, I tell you. 

This year I just kept quiet and smiled.  Why?  Because *I* got what I wanted.  Typing from my Galaxy Tab. On my bluetooth keyboard. 

I know.  Not  proper to brag. But I’m NOT bragging.  I’m just happy about my early Christmas present.

(Now I hope he knows this can’t be my actual Christmas present …. it’s not Christmas yet!!)

I think I have enough “toys” for now 😉  Jewelry though… one can’t have enough *hint hint*


My mom can do anything

So precious how my kids think I can do anything.  I don’t know how long it will last but while they still think I’m the be all and end all of their worlds, I will play along Smile I hope it will be for many many years still.  Till I’m 113 years old.

We played some cricket on the beach yesterday (I kicked their butts lol) *THAT won’t be for much longer!*

Later they got me this:

2011-12-09 10.48.18

It’s a key ring that says “My mom can do anything”

I thought that was so funny.


and we drove and we drove and we drove

I have promised the boys for the past four years that I would take them to see snow when it does. Every time, it snows during the week when I’m at work and they in school.
See, it doesn’t rain in Klerksdorp. 16 years ago it “snowed”. Dust of snow covered the ground.

This morning they predicted snow in the Drakensberg and there and then it was decided that we would go. I would finally keep my promise. Clients were moved, bags packed in record time. We left at 14:30 with a TOA of around 19:00. We arrived at 22:30. I can tick of driving in snow from my bucket list. Visibility was around 1 meter. I could hardly make out the middle of the road. Heavy heavy snow, for almost 4 hours. So the kids saw the snow at night. Now I just hope we wake up to a winter wonderland!


Boys

I’m sitting in the doctor’s waiting room. Where it’s normally quiet. You know, people not talking any louder than a whisper.

Today though, it’s different. There’s two matric boys sitting on the other end of the room who I assume want people to hear their conversation. I wish I could tape it and play it back to them once they are the fathers of teenage daughters.
They have no respect whatsoever. Girls are clearly there for their pleasure only. They don’t care about a girl’s feelings.

These boys are 6/7 years older than Quintus. That is not a lot. I hope and pray my boys will be different. Just show respect. Be proper. In all areas. Mostly towards girls. Being proper in public places but also there where we can’t see them.

I can only hope they will.