Update on my thoughts
I need to try and explain some things.
No. I’m not adopting the little girl. That was never the intention. I will only foster her IF we should to decide to go that route and at this stage that is a big IF. There is no way I’ll be taking that little girl away from her mom. I’ll just be offering her a home, a warm bed, clothes and a full tummy. I’ll give her stability. More love. And I say more love, since I’ll never keep her mom’s love away from her.
It’s a big IF though. I want this young mother to think about this. Really think about it. Think about the implications for her and her little girl. How this will affect her daughter. Her 5 year old daughter will be moved from what she knows to a family that is completely different. We’ll go through the system and she’ll have to run this by the father … I think.
My ideal outcome for this? It’s for us to find her a daytime job. Where she can drop her daughter off at school in the morning and pick her up at normal hours like all other kids. So that they can go home in the afternoons and spend quality time together. I would like to set up a fund for them, so that the little girl will not go to bed hungry.
THAT is my ideal outcome. Whatever and however this works out, I just don’t want that little go to bed hungry or not know where she is going to go to sleep at any given night.
Super Mom .... or not 
my thoughts and prayers are in this situation
December 5, 2008 at 10:08 pm
You really are a nice person with a big heart. Hopefully the mom can find a job during normal hours like you mentioned. It just stinks that she is in this place not knowing whether to send her kid to someone better or try and tough it out. The good thing is that you aren’t going to try to take her child from her six months down the road. Some people are so mean and evil they would try that. You are a good person and I agree the little girl shouldn’t go to bed hungry.
December 5, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Sad to think that there are SO many moms in this type of situation. Adopting or fostering a child is a very special calling. This young mom obviously saw something in you that made her feel that you would be a good mom to her daughter. Even so….. a decision like this can never be taken likely, and I do agree that going the fostering route first is a good idea!I will be praying for you.
December 6, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Thanks for your email.
No, I wasn’t talking about adopting. I was thinking about fostering. Here you can’t even pick up a kid from school without the parents WRITTEN permission. You cannot take a kid to the doctor without the WRITTEN permisssion of the parents. etc, etc. When my father in law died a year ago and we had to go to Germany. leaving our daughter with a friend, it was quite an act not to forget any of the necessary paperstuff.
Otherwise you might end up in legal hot water. You will have to get some parenting rights to handle the whole thing properly. Unless in SA things are very different from here.
Just my 5 cents. 🙂
December 7, 2008 at 8:34 pm
You have a heart of gold, Mel. Hope you find a solution soon.
December 9, 2008 at 10:08 am
How wonderful that you are considering this. I hope that something works out that will be a blessing for everyone concerned.
December 9, 2008 at 4:29 pm
You are a VERY good person to even consider helping in the least! Like Addie said, you have a heart of gold!! Hope it all works out for the best.
December 10, 2008 at 1:08 pm
You are awesome! I have seen this kind of thing work out well. When my oldest daughter came to me, it was a fostering situation. I got to know her birth mom pretty well, really young, no education, a tough childhood of her own. She just needed a break. Tried to get her life back together, but realized after about a year that her daughter was better off with me and had settled into a good family life. It was hard on my daughter at first, but we talk about it a lot and she knows that her birth mom loved her and that she made the choice with her heart and her head.
Thank you for getting involved and at least being an option for this little girl. You should be proud of yourself and your family. And you will be blessed.
December 12, 2008 at 8:40 am
You are a good person Mel. Hope something unfolds.
December 17, 2008 at 12:25 am