Just the same

I just realized that I treat my body in pretty much the same way as I treat the silence in the house.

I haven’t been to gym almost all year.  Shocking I know.  So what do I do to make up for this?  I starve myself all morning long.  By lunch time I eat cause I’m starving and I’m at my folks house and my mom makes awesome food.  By the time I get home my body is just so thankful that it got food in the first place that it goes completely haywire and has anything and everything that is edible.

Now see.  That’s the silence in our home.  Silence for days weeks.  Then all of a sudden some words exchanged and I talk back.  Cause I hate the silence and my kids don’t need this crap.  Then by night time I’m just SO thankful that everyone is having normal conversation that I never bring up the real issues in case it brings back the silence again.

I remember as a child I had this dream so many times.  I would see two lines moving towards each other.  Not directly but very slowlymoving towards each other.   Then just as they get close, everything goes haywire.  All of a sudden there’s a million other lines that cross each other at a huge speed and seem to roll into one huge mass of lines.  Eventually the mass will disappear and there will be two lines.  Moving towards each other.  Slowly.

I think that dream is like life.  Everything goes smoothly.  Slowly.  At a steady pace.  Then things go absolutely haywire very quickly.  Now for some unknown reason the silence is broken and I’m just thankful for that.

It’s not right but it’s better than the silence.