He IS a nice guy
Why do I stay with him? Well there are many reasons.
- He wakes me with coffee. Every morning.
Gotta love that! - He runs my bath. Every morning.
- He packs the boys’ school lunch boxes.
- He is a very good friend.
- He is willing to drive 4 hours (there and back) for me to visit my best friend.
- He picks up medication when the kids are sick. I hardly ever see the inside of our pharmacy.
- He fills up my car for me.
- He watches chick-flicks with me.
- He drives to another town with me to have coffee there, since I like that particular coffee the most.
- He has forgiven me things that most other men would not.
- He has changed in big ways, for me and the kids.
- He is a good host. Always thinking of everyone to make sure there will be something they like.
- He doesn’t mind my computer / cellphone addiction even though he doesn’t get it at all. So much so that he’ll give ME his upgrades.
- He is the type of person to allow another child into our home.
- He is the father of my
manychildren.
So yes, there are so many reasons I should leave. Many reasons why he ticks me off (especially when it comes to the kids) but he IS a nice guy.
Super Mom .... or not 
He sounds nicer than my husband actually! LOL!
March 8, 2009 at 9:17 pm
oh wow..you know I can’t tick a single thing off on that list that my DH does for me???
March 8, 2009 at 9:41 pm
But is it enough? Does that make up for his fuckwittedness when it comes to assuming more responsibility with the boys? For understanding YOU, supporting YOU?
Frankly, a nanny would do just as well at the things he does do.
Just me playing devil’s advocate.
After your post yesterday, I did kind of wonder why you do still stay together, you never mention Tommie in a positive way.
Again just me playing devil’s advocate, but maybe if you praised the positive and made mention of it, then more would be done? You know… the Law of Attraction?
We could all bitch endlessly about our DH’s, but how often do we praise them, acknowlege them and thank them?
March 8, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Good for you Mel! Does hubby read your blog? If not, I would show him this post and tell him how much you appreciate what he DOES do and maybe that will inspire him to want to help out a bit more. Good luck!
March 8, 2009 at 10:19 pm
I agree with Beth. Show him your post. 🙂
March 8, 2009 at 11:29 pm
This post really made me smile (and understand a lot too), but I have to say, YOU HAD ME AT “HE GIVES ME HIS CELLPHONE UPGRADES”. I think if my husband were to do that I’d fall over in a dead faint.
My husband (while he has many good points too), knows how much I would SO love an iPhone. But if HE got one, he’d more than likely come home and do some kind of victory dance in front of me, and then keep telling me how cool HIS phone is. Bastard!
March 9, 2009 at 6:50 am
Loved reading this. Sometimes it helps to focus on the positive 😉
March 9, 2009 at 8:26 am
It’s a very important list Mel. sometimes we do forget the good they do.
there’s one thing you left off though which is more important than any of the things you have written … what about LOVING him? As long as you can answer an honest ‘yes’ to that question, there’s no question of you wanting to leave 🙂
March 9, 2009 at 8:52 am
The only thing that matters is that YOU are happy. You know I will support you regardless.
March 9, 2009 at 10:29 am
Yes, we all get angry and upset with them, but making a list like you have is so important to remember the good in our “better?” halves.
March 9, 2009 at 12:04 pm
it is the little things that count, like making you coffee, running you a bath… and that you are happy.
March 9, 2009 at 12:29 pm
I agree with Jax, as long as you are happy….
March 10, 2009 at 8:12 am
Hello bokkie…. I love you and I love Tommie. Always have, always will. He IS a nice guy and he IS a good friend and I have never minded spending time with him. I know in my heart that he cares for me too. 🙂
I don’t always like the way he treats you but I ALWAYS support YOU no matter what…. just like you always support me.
Ons is mos nou so een.
Ek mis jou vreeslik vandag… en se vir Thomas ek is lus vir chops. LOL
March 10, 2009 at 10:48 am
btw – ek wil nou net so by se in answer to Sarah’s comment… Personally I don’t think love is ‘everything’…. I love chocolate, doesn’t mean it is good for me.. relationships are so much more than love. Ek is lief vir baie dinge.
March 10, 2009 at 10:50 am
After your 10th wedding anniversary post I realised that there must be much more to Mr T. then we are let to know … today you confirmed it. Thanks for sharing the special side of Mr T. with us!!!
March 10, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Hey, screw all the opinions- I can tell you love him, and I hope that you are both able to navigate a path through life together. It is really hard, sometimes. You can do it, supermom! And so can he… Talk? it is tricky, but try it. You make a great family.
March 10, 2009 at 9:53 pm
I hope things work out. My hubby and I worked through out problems and I am happy to say I feel better about our marriage now then a year ago. It’s always good to remember the good things our husbands do.
March 11, 2009 at 1:07 am
I hope you okay and healing and oulike en dierbaar en so
March 11, 2009 at 4:29 pm
these are things that draw us closer ….u sound so much in love with you husband
March 12, 2009 at 10:49 am
This is so beautiful Mel…
March 13, 2009 at 7:38 am
One thing for sure, no matter what other people say, if deep inside you you find something that is worth staying for, then you decide what’s best for yourself and your family.
I know despite of everything if Tommie still holds a special place in your heart and if you are still happy with him, then there’s no reason to leave. All the best to you Mel!
March 14, 2009 at 9:29 am
Hey Mel
Hope you are in lesser pain by now. Soon the pain will start getting better and your healing process would have taken off. I am so glad to your all your positives about Tommie…this is definitely a giant step in the right direction. I hope Tommie does it too in his own way.
Hugs
Rav
March 16, 2009 at 12:11 pm